My hearts desire...

is to be a younger woman who...loves her husband and children, is sensible, pure, a smart worker at home, kind and being subject to my own husband. Why? So my life honors God.

I have many flaws and weaknesses, but my God is mighty to save. He can mold this broken pot into a masterpiece for His glory. Nothing of me is acceptable or pleasing on it's own, but my daily prayer is that the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart will be pleasing to my Lord. I pray they will be acceptable to Him, through Him.

I long to "look well to the ways of my household, not eat the bread of idleness, smile at the future, be clothed with strength and dignity, teach with kindness and most of all, fear the Lord." When I gave my life to the Lord, I said to Him, "YES!" I will do it Your way.

So I wake each morning relying on His grace and mercy to see me through. I acknowledge that I am nothing without Him and that He is all I need to be whole. My life with the Lord is more than I could have dreamed of ever accomplishing. A life of surrender for His name sake...

One Too Many

To begin, I would like to state that I am not a big fan of paper towels. But, my husband greatly enjoys having them right at hand. He really likes the pick a size brand, so that is what I most often buy. This kind of paper towel system makes sense to me, because it is less wasteful. Except for the fact, that when I grab a paper towel, most often, five come rolling down and I have then torn them all off before I can roll it back to just grab one.

Now, I have one too many paper towels.

As this happened to me this morning, I was thinking about how this happens in my life on a weekly basis. I try so hard to be intent on choosing those things that matter most to God, but I so often find myself wishing for more time in my day. One too many.

Is it something valuable? Yes, but not possibly the most valuable use of my time. When I find myself wishing for more time, I am painfully aware of the fact that I am not doing what is on God's agenda. I did not stop to align my day with God's purpose for me. I have run ahead of Him and filled my day, then prayed that He will help me accomplish all the tasks at hand. One too many.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9 O dear child, you should be praying first to see how you can be of help to Me, for My kingdom. Here, in this moment of truth, I am deeply humbled and at a loss for words. For this child knows (all too well) that His grace and mercy are boundless and ready at hand, even in my foolishness. At my first act of surrender He will awaken in me a new song and put before me a path that honors His call for me that day.

Father, forgive me for the times I run ahead of you and do not stop to first see how you intend to use me this day for Your kingdom. I know the times of my foolishness are one too many.

"Whether then you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Small Reminders

I woke up this morning to the smell of fresh air blowing in my windows. I could hear the softness of the world outside and I felt at peace; comforted by the knowledge that God was already up and waiting for me.

Surrender is my journey. Each day the choice presents itself as I choose to stay in bed or get up for my first appointment with God. Do I read a little longer with my boys or mop the floor? Do I accept the "something" that didn't turn out the way I had hoped or stew and strive to make it happen. Each of us faces the choice to surrender or to strive. I humbly ask God to give me the opportunity to surrender.

"Surrender is not the surrender of the external life, but of the will." ~Oswald Chambers

"I have given myself clear away, and have not retained anything as my own." ~Jonathan Edwards

As I sat down at the computer this morning my husband had left me a small reminder that nothing was left solely in my hands that day. A small note on the keyboard read, "Good morning, this is GOD! I will be handling all your problems today. I will not need your help, so have a great day."

Oh the sweet blessing in knowing that I do not have to strive today or any other day. The note itself was a small reminder that God has my best interest at heart and that He cares for even the smallest of my needs. He is big enough to control all that surrounds me in the world, but small enough to hear me whisper, "stay near to me O God."

Thank you O God for the joy that comes in the surrender.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul. Therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:22-24