Vulnerable

vulnerable ~ exposed, open, sensitive


These are not words we tend to gravitate towards in a positive way.  In fact, I am sure that each of us has a way of setting up boundaries so that we do not expose too much of ourselves to others.  Fear and uncertainty can plague us and in turn cause us to keep the "real us" at a safe distance.  


First, I want to say that I believe it is incredibly important to first filter everything through God's word, so we can be within the guidelines He has given us to follow. Our thought life, our speech and our actions must be motivated by our love and desire to please Him.  


So, with that said, freedom should follow.  


Freedom to follow the call that God has placed on our life.  Yes, there are absolutes in God's word that apply to all of us.  The beauty in His master design of each of us is that we will flesh that out differently.  For one example, this afternoon I had a wonderful discussion with a young woman about having children.  She was saying how she was really wanting to search our her own answer, according to God's word, in regards to married people having children. Is it an absolute?  Is in required?  Commanded?  What about those that are unable to have children due to medical reasons?


I said that I believe God tells us to raise up generation after generation for HIM and for HIS glory.  We need to be obedient to that command.   But to me, here is the beauty of it all.  It is fleshed out in a unique way in homes all over the world.  


I have a friend who has adopted four children and has two of her own, a friend who has only adopted even though she is capable of having her own children and one who adopted after trying for 10 years.  I have friends that only have biological children and friends with no children who are investing in those children around them.  I also just recently heard the amazing story of this young woman, Katie.  Talk about having the freedom to live your life to what God is asking!  

This is where it becomes important that we become vulnerable.  Where we are open to share what God is doing in our life and stand boldly on the foundation of His master plan for our lives.  It is so easy to begin to "mark" our lives by those certain success "markers" that the world so easily places on us.  


college....check
a good job.....check
marriage.....check
a home of our own.....check
children......check
great family vacations.....check
successful children.....check


None of these things is bad.  However, I do believe there are things that carry a great significance on which to build one's life. The list of "markers" goes on and on. I think the list could be much shorter.....


Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul and your mind.  Love & serve others.  


vulnerable


exposed to let others see your heart burning with passion for God
open to letting Him use you in the ways He created you to be used for His glory
sensitive to His call on your life in whatever form that may take


Not all of us will be called to serve a people group on the other side of the world, but I know that whatever God calls you to do for Him, it is a high and holy calling, so do it well.  Do it for Him with all your heart!


motherhood
ministry
teaching
financially supporting
adopting
writing
sacrificing
building
mentoring
creating
fatherhood
friendship
submission
obedience
serving


You can add your own to this list and if you don't know what it is that He has called you to at this season of your life.....stop right now and go before Him.  Do not move forward with your own plans until you have heard from Him about what His plans are for you!  If you have not surrendered your life to Him, then stop and do that now.  Don't wait, time is short and there is much to be done for Him.  


If we are moving forward with God, then we are moving in the right direction!  Let Him show you the "markers" by which to mark your success in this life.  Oh how different they will be than what we imagine!  

Through the lens of God: Motherhood

I stopped and sighed. "Why dear Lord, does this precious child insist on taking every book out of the rack? I really do not have the energy to help him pick it all up, again!"
Do you have moments like this? If you are a mother, I am going to guess that this occurs at least twice a day if not more, depending on the age of your precious blessings! So, what am I learning about raising my sweet, charging, strong boys?

Motherhood~ "No one can do for them, what I can do for them!" Are you surprised to find the same statement made about motherhood that I made about marriage? Well, it is true. So, I must ask again, what am I doing for them?

I was chosen to be their mama and although honestly there are tough days where I am sure God mixed my name up with someone else's, it does not diminsh the fact that indeed I was equiped to be their mama, not anyone else!

In her book, The Mission of Motherhood, Sally Clarkson so beautifully states, "children, by nature, are designed to take up our time. We develop the heart of our children by spending time with them, just as Jesus spent time with his disciples. He not only taught them truth but also practical application. Jesus invested in them and gave them his whole life."

And so it is also my calling to invest my whole life into them. Motherhood has gotten a very skewed modern-day vision placed upon it. I don't need to list the many things said about motherhood these days, I know that you can already think of many. So, instead I will ask this question, "Where do you stand on the debate?" This is where God says we should stand: on the side of yielding. Not half-heartedly, but whole-heartedly to the vision He gives us for motherhood, because His original idea works and it is also the path to much joy, contentment and peace.

Now those may not be the first three words that come to every mother's mind when she thinks about the highchair that is dirty again, the laundry that never makes it to the drawers, the potty-training 3 year old, the homeschool papers to be graded, the whining that needs to be dealt with at the heart level. No these "things/circumstances" do not seem to be high joy-producing circumstances, but I am going to be brave and say that is because our focus and lens is skewed.

Clarkson also states in her book that every act of disobedience and foolishness is an opportunity to point our children to their need of a Savior. It is my opportunity to train their hearts and minds in righteousness. Wow! Now, do you think that is how God looks at my foolishness? As an opportunity? To be honest, I cannot think of a time that I heard from heaven, "Melissa~ do you understand what I am telling you? Why on earth would you do that again?" No, I feel the tug at my heart and hear the call of my Father to be still and get back on track. That gentle and loving way that He has when disciplining His children, those whom He calls His heirs.

Whatever vision of motherhood I have, I need to leave it behind and get into God's word to see what He says it should look like. Then I have to "clean house" and get busy about being the kind of mother that builds life into her children and says, "Thank you Lord that my precious child has a desire to read and learn! Oh, my sweet boy!" The feeling I had when I rounded the corner and saw this....

The depth of my relationship with my children provides them with stability (or a lack of). They will either believe my words because they see my life authenticating them or they will know the shallow depth of my attempt at connecting with them.

Love is spelled T.I.M.E. in the eyes of a child. What else is more important than cultivating their hearts for the precious message of Christ's love for them? I simply cannot think of anything...

So, won't you join me in the 32 day challenge to grow more deeply connected with your children? Won't you take the time to invest in them like God calls us to do? Come back tomorrow to start the challenge! See you then~

Through the lens of God: Marriage

James 3:17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering and sincere.

gentle: those that are possessed of such a spirit are not easily provoked to anger; patiently bear, and put up with injuries; for God has a great regard to the meek, humble, and quiet souls; He lifts them up, when cast down; He causes glad tidings to be preached to them; He increases their joy in the Lord; He feeds them, when hungry, to their satisfaction; He guides them in judgment, and teaches them His ways; He will rise up in judgment for them, and reprove with equity for their sake; He gives more grace unto them, and beautifies them with salvation, and will cause them to inherit the earth. (from John Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible)

The first time God placed this verse on my heart was about eight months before Wesley and I had a miscarrage. At the time He first gave me this verse, I knew in my heart that God wanted me to learn how to be unwavering in my faith and my follow-through each day in walking close with Him. I did not know what was ahead of me, but God did know and He was preparing me. Honestly, when we walked through that time together I was sure of my foundation and stood firm on the fact that God knew what He was doing. It was heart-breaking and difficult, but I really felt solid in the hand of God.

Ever since then, I have kept that verse very close to my heart. As God has taught me more about that trial we went through, He has continued to teach me more about the treasures found within this verse. It is applicable to so many areas of my life, because it is talking about God's wisdom, which is perfect!

God's wisdom is the light for my path each day. I know that God has placed me in this place for a purpose. I am the wife of Wesley and the mama to Eli and Luke for a reason. I was chosen by God to build life into them and invest in their lives with my whole heart. How does God ask me to live out my life as a wife and mother?

peaceable

gentle

reasonable

unwavering

sincere

full of mercy

Recently my heart has been so heavy and I have felt myself struggling with lots of thoughts, doubts, questions, etc... filling my heart and mind. I know that this kind of process is vital for me to grow and be refined, but it is difficult, because I feel like it distracts me. Through the struggles, God reveals so much to my heart and here is what He has said so loud and clear concerning marriage and motherhood.

Marriage~ "No one can do for my husband what I can do for him!" So, what am I doing for him? My attitude towards him needs to be that of pure sacrifice that is in his best interest. I need to daily look for ways to build life into him and support what God has asked Him to be doing right now with his life. This includes ministry, parenting, work, leadership, etc...

I have been more than blessed in the gift God gave me in a husband. I say that in praise to God for providing just who I needed to love me, lead me, partner with me, parent with me and be my best friend. He is very sacrificial and supportive of me, which I sometimes just stand in awe of, because I know there is so much more I could do for him.

I desire to be the kind of wife that "does him good, all the days of her life," one that knows "the heart of her husband trusts in her," and one who is "submissive and a lover of her husband." Loving my husband needs to be my top priority each day. Yes, I do believe it comes before my children, but I will be the first to admit that I know this doesn't always happen.

Having a 5 year old and a 3 year old, I am most often a bit spent at the end of the day and grateful to have my partner by my side. I am thankful that I have someone willing to be in the trenches with me, but I am not sure I always do a good job of letting him know that. My weariness often speaks first, rather that my heart of love and gratitude, as well as my pride (in a good way) in what an incredible job he does of supporting us as a family.

I am Wesley's wife and it is my responsibility alone to build into his life. So, I am taking a 32 day challenge to build him up and "do for him, what no one else can do!" Will you join me in doing this for your husband? Watch for the posts that will begin on February 28th~

I realistically know that not everyone precious woman who may read this post has a husband that is on her team, or supportive or sacrificial for her. I do not take that lightly, trust me! I take very seriously the fact that there are many marriages struggling all around me and that is a very hard place to be, I have seen it. I understand the effects and the hardship, so please know that, while it is not always easy to be in the place you are, you are never alone. God still has you and is looking for you to be faithful.

Many have heard 1 Peter 3:1-4 that talks of the wife who can win her husband over by her quiet and chaste behavior. This doesn't work because we think it is a good idea, it works because we are out of the way! I have women very dear to me who walk in hard marriages, but they also have the sweetest countenance. It may not be rewarded here on earth, but it certainly will not be overlooked in heaven, by their dear Savior!

If you are in a tough place in your marriage I encourage you all the more to take this challenge to heart and see what God can do over the next 32 days, in your heart and in your husband's. Remember that all we do is for the glory of God and that makes it all worth it!

This challenge will also include an aspect for motherhood, which I will post about tomorrow!