On the Horizon

It's ten o'clock in the morning and the phone rings. I know who is at the other end of the phone, because he is there every morning at this time. He (my mr. wonderful) calls to check-in and see how the day is going so far. He always asks how my quiet time was, how the boys are doing and what are plans are for the rest of the day. It's nice. It keeps us connected. I like it because I don't feel alone, which can sometimes happen in this crazy state called motherhood.

On this particular day I say hi and he says how's it going? "It's like groundhogs day around here!" I can "hear" him grinning at me. He probes more and I finally respond by saying, "You know this is the hardest job ever, right?!?!?!" Yes, he calmly says. My rock. My steady leader guiding me in my moments when the whole universe seems a little off kilter. He is my gift and this calmness the greatest gift of love he offers me every day.

My heart is so heavy with this groundhogs day feeling. I have been aware of changes that this home needs to make, the promptings of my Heavenly Father who is calling us to something greater, something different than what happens each day here and now. Do you know how hard it is to change the routine, habits and regular happenings of five very different people in one house? Yes, I know you know this difficulty. I find it most challenging, because it begins in me.

Honestly, though, isn't that where it should all begin? In my heart, my thinking, my words, my actions....my life. I cannot guide the young hearts in my care if my own heart is not in a state of obedience to my Heavenly Father. So the journey begins....

This journey is but another season of life. I love to think of life in seasons, because it reminds me that there is a beginning and an end and nothing lasts forever here on earth. So I welcome the bitter cold winter that will strip me bare of all that I consider comfortable in order to reveal the true condition of my heart. Much like God allowed in the life of his faithful servant Job. God knew that under the circumstances that he allowed Job to endure, the sin of pride would rear it's ugly head and Job would be opened to the need for that to change. At the end of his suffering he came out more like the man God desired him to be and less like the man that Job thought he was doing a good job at being.

In the cold wind, my bare and exposed self will need the warmth of God to fill in the places that have become hardened to His ways. I do not intentionally seek out ways to distance myself from God, but I allow it to happen in the busyness of everyday life and responsibility.

As the sun begins to grow warmer, I begin to sprout new thoughts, attitudes and actions. Spring is on the horizon and I will again bloom. New and beautiful because of His work in me. As the winds blow gentle, the seeds begin to scatter and I am feeling refreshed and alive in the cool Spring air. I am pouring into the lives entrusted to me, changing that which He has said can be better. In the summer we thrive in the sun and flourish in our growth. We cling to the rain that falls to water our souls and then slowly, like the sun creeping up over the horizon, the rich gold, red and orange hues begin to surface.

Living out Galatians 6:2

Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

I believe that in everyone's life there is a season, if not more than one, where the burdens of this life we live become too much for one to bear. We are not completely defeated because our hope is in Christ, but completely weary is a reality.

My precious family has been in a season like this for the past 6 months. The strain of my husbands job, which has left me solo-parenting six days a week, has taken its toll. I do not at all share this to sound like I am complaining, but simply to help you see the greater message of this post. Unfortunately, as hard as we have tried to shield our precious boys and keep things as constant as we can, this past week it all came crumbling down.

I am grateful for the circumstances because they have caused us to be desperate for our God in a way that we could not know without this amount of stress. It has stripped us of our strength and revealed weaknesses and inadequacies that push us to call upon our Rock & Tower of Strength. It is often hard to praise God and consider it all joy, but honestly we have no choice. We say we believe in the Sovereignty of our God, so we must live like we do! He will be faithful to bring about His purpose for our lives. We can be a willing participant or not. I prefer to obey and reap the benefits of His hand of goodness, rather than His hand of discipline. However, I know how imperfectly I obey, so there has been much learning along the way!

I have had dear friends reach out to serve and help during this time and I am so grateful. Although I will admit it is a small circle who has known this struggle. Not for any other reason than the fact that I tend to keep quiet, because I know who and what is most helpful. As well as the fact that I want to protect my husband and family through this process.

Last week I met with a dear friend who witnessed the actual melt-down of my sweet boys due to the pressure we are all facing. She was so dear and grace-based in talking with me and coming alongside. That afternoon she e-mailed me asking if she could help in a specific way over the next few weeks. I was blown away at her offer to serve my family.

First, she initiated helping me in a way that I would never ask someone to do, but in a way that is completely practical! I will admit that sometimes it is hard for me to know what to ask help with, it has all seemed overwhelming. Second, she shared her heart in wanting to help and in that God revealed something really neat to me.

To be used of God in service to others, our hearts must be in the right place. I am sure there have been many times you have sought God's direction in how to serve others. Now as He reveals ways to you and you are obedient, you are excited about being able to help. But then the person declines. It really isn't a fault to them, but being here in this place where God is revealing this to me, I see how not accepting help is sometimes a hindrance to the other person.

Accepting their offer is accepting Christ's love. It is letting them live out Galatians 6:2. God says to bear one another's burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. Love God and love your neighbors. Serving and being served is love, when done with a heart to please God above all things.

Pride has no place in accepting help. (Not that it has any place anywhere!) But I'm just saying that when we let that get in the way, we become a stumbling block. We also become our own worst enemy because we are actually saying that we know a better way and that God's command of "bear one another's burden" is really not that great. I know that may sound harsh, but in my heart I really think that's what we are doing.

I was so humbled by my friends offer of help and humbled by God's gracious hand of mercy upon me and my family. I am grateful for all that He is teaching me even when I least expect it! I love how He knows me and all that I need when I need it in such detail. He brings all things together so beautifully and I am incredibly blessed to be at this end of such an amazing gift of blessing. This challenge ahead of us to weed out the good and seek His true will for us seems daunting at times, but these "sweet spots" are just the encouragement I need to give me that push to keep going. The end result, when done in God's will, is going to be absolutely worth it!

Through the lens of God: Motherhood

I stopped and sighed. "Why dear Lord, does this precious child insist on taking every book out of the rack? I really do not have the energy to help him pick it all up, again!"
Do you have moments like this? If you are a mother, I am going to guess that this occurs at least twice a day if not more, depending on the age of your precious blessings! So, what am I learning about raising my sweet, charging, strong boys?

Motherhood~ "No one can do for them, what I can do for them!" Are you surprised to find the same statement made about motherhood that I made about marriage? Well, it is true. So, I must ask again, what am I doing for them?

I was chosen to be their mama and although honestly there are tough days where I am sure God mixed my name up with someone else's, it does not diminsh the fact that indeed I was equiped to be their mama, not anyone else!

In her book, The Mission of Motherhood, Sally Clarkson so beautifully states, "children, by nature, are designed to take up our time. We develop the heart of our children by spending time with them, just as Jesus spent time with his disciples. He not only taught them truth but also practical application. Jesus invested in them and gave them his whole life."

And so it is also my calling to invest my whole life into them. Motherhood has gotten a very skewed modern-day vision placed upon it. I don't need to list the many things said about motherhood these days, I know that you can already think of many. So, instead I will ask this question, "Where do you stand on the debate?" This is where God says we should stand: on the side of yielding. Not half-heartedly, but whole-heartedly to the vision He gives us for motherhood, because His original idea works and it is also the path to much joy, contentment and peace.

Now those may not be the first three words that come to every mother's mind when she thinks about the highchair that is dirty again, the laundry that never makes it to the drawers, the potty-training 3 year old, the homeschool papers to be graded, the whining that needs to be dealt with at the heart level. No these "things/circumstances" do not seem to be high joy-producing circumstances, but I am going to be brave and say that is because our focus and lens is skewed.

Clarkson also states in her book that every act of disobedience and foolishness is an opportunity to point our children to their need of a Savior. It is my opportunity to train their hearts and minds in righteousness. Wow! Now, do you think that is how God looks at my foolishness? As an opportunity? To be honest, I cannot think of a time that I heard from heaven, "Melissa~ do you understand what I am telling you? Why on earth would you do that again?" No, I feel the tug at my heart and hear the call of my Father to be still and get back on track. That gentle and loving way that He has when disciplining His children, those whom He calls His heirs.

Whatever vision of motherhood I have, I need to leave it behind and get into God's word to see what He says it should look like. Then I have to "clean house" and get busy about being the kind of mother that builds life into her children and says, "Thank you Lord that my precious child has a desire to read and learn! Oh, my sweet boy!" The feeling I had when I rounded the corner and saw this....

The depth of my relationship with my children provides them with stability (or a lack of). They will either believe my words because they see my life authenticating them or they will know the shallow depth of my attempt at connecting with them.

Love is spelled T.I.M.E. in the eyes of a child. What else is more important than cultivating their hearts for the precious message of Christ's love for them? I simply cannot think of anything...

So, won't you join me in the 32 day challenge to grow more deeply connected with your children? Won't you take the time to invest in them like God calls us to do? Come back tomorrow to start the challenge! See you then~