Good Intentions

A Wise Woman Builds Her House....

Well, it appears that I am in the habit of posting once a year, around this time!  I always seem to have "good intentions" of blogging more and getting back in the groove, however life enters and here I am one year later.

I came across the above FB page and Proverbs 14:1, just happens to be one of my favorite verses..."The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands."

Now again, we are here at the idea of intentions.  None of us wakes up in the morning and purposely intends to tear down our own house. I love that this verse speaks to the inner, hidden part of me~ my heart.  God knows my heart and He sees my thoughts and knows if I am intentionally aligning them with Him or if I am haphazardly going through my day on my own "good intentions."

"For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart." Matthew 12:34b

I didn't intend to speak quite so harshly.  I didn't intend to anwser e-mails for that long.  I didn't intend to get caught up in the phone conversation for 45 mins.  I didn't intend to forget to take out the meat and now have to pick up something quick for supper on our way there.  

 Please don't hear me saying that occasionally we forget or some things must temporarily take priority over others.  I am trying to communicate the importance of being intentional with my intentions and aligning them with God's purpose for me each day.  He has been incredibly gracious in giving me a husband and three sons to care for, serve and love each day.  In this calling,  I long to do well and glorify God. Therefore, I must be checking my heart and what motivates me.  I should be finding my love for God at the top of the list, along with my desire to serve and love my precious family.

We are a busy people, filling up our lives with nearly anything that comes knocking on the door.  I think about women of the early 1900's and how much they were required to do in order to just simply provide the daily needs for their families.  I also think about how they did not have near as many distractions.  They did not have blogs, FB, Pinterest, twitter, Bunko club, shopping, the fitness club,  etc...

They woke up with the purpose of meeting the needs of their family.  In Genesis 2:18 God says, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Survival in that day kept them from being distracted by self-fulfilling enjoyments.  I am assuming that each woman fully walking in the will of God was fulfilled by living out her God-given purpose of meeting the needs of her family. Of being that suitable helpmate...

I am convinced that I too will be fulfilled in living out the purpose God has called me to in serving my family with the right intentions. The intention of building my house, and not tearing it down. The intention of building up the lives of those in my home, rather than tearing them down. There are noble callings that God gives each of us that may call us out of our home, but I know in my heart that my husband, children and home come first.  Ministry can happen with my home as the hub, making my ministry linear and not a list that leaves no time at the end to serve others.  All of my life is a ministry and my home is the place in which I start and finish each day, so I long to give my best there and not my leftovers.

Isn't it tempting to give others the best and then rest on the "grace" my family offers when I give them the tired, worn-out, spread thin rest of me?  Isn't it easy to want to give the right impression to others and rest in knowing that my family loves me no matter what?  Since, my family and my home are good gifts from God, I am certain that He longs for me to give my best there also.

Too much in the world tells me to empower myself and seek out what makes me happy and fulfilled.  The job of telling me what I need to do with my time and resources belongs to God alone. Married, single, divorced, widowed, a mother, an aunt, a sister~ each of us has a "home" in which we can build and invest.  May each of us be careful to live wisely and find our fulfillment in Christ alone. I pray that building your house will be enough to fill your cup!

b"US"y

busy.....


It's a four letter word that can imply so much in one person's life.  But when you take that word and begin multiplying it by however many people live in your little house, WHOA!  It can seem to take over and begin running the train right off the track.


My discretionary time is very limited and so I always feel like I don't know what to choose when it comes, but spending some time on Pinterest is one of the ways I do spend my extra time.  It energizes me to see all those fun ideas and gets my creative juices flowing.  I am certainly one who functions better when my creativity has an outlet! While on the other night, I clicked on a picture that led me to a blog and her description read, "Living a simple, meaningful, hand-made life."  All those words struck me at my heart.  I could identify in one way or another with what that message portrayed.

Each year, Mr.Wonderful and I choose a word or words that will give us tracks to go on for that year.  This year they are intentional and diligent.  Our life is very full right now of many things....


young boys' busyness
school
prayer
uncertainty
ministry
unknown possibilities
love
laundry
struggles
growth
family
friends
cooking
cleaning


But, no matter what I find myself doing, those two words, intentional and diligent, are always looming out in front of me.  Jesus was so intentional when He was here on earth.  He took time for people and He was certainly busy! Always wanting to be found faithful doing the work of His Father.


Yesterday was a really hard day for me.  I was full of so many emotions and thoughts, that I finally had to quietly go sit on my bed and just be still.  My heart cried out for God to be God and to show Himself to me here in this hard place.  I knew that this ache in the depth of me would not go away or change by relying on anyone or anything else other than God.


He was, of course, faithful.  He filled my cup so that I could continue through my day.  


My whole day is full of motherhood and help-meet responsibilities and it can all seem like so much!  There is always a constant pull to find the most efficient way for our lives to blend and work and compliment one another.  I do not think I will never be busy.  But in that, I never want to take my eyes off the b"US"y right in the middle of that word.  To me "US" is God and I, Mr. Wonderful and I, all five of us~ it is the people in my life.


I want my life to be simple enough that I have time for the priorities that fill my heart.
I want it to be meaningful, so that it matters~ in the eyes of God.
I want it to be hand-made in the sense, that my hands are hard at work building my home and filling it with things that really say, "this is who we are and what we are about."


Those things will not happen unless I am intentional and diligent with my life each day.  Each set of 24 hours that God gives to me matters! What words do you find yourself/your family focusing on this year?  How are you making sure you live by them each day?  

Proverbs 14:1

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.

Note to Self....

I too often say.....

Just a minute..... When I get finished I will come..... Not right now..... I don't have time for that at this moment..... No...... I'm busy right now.....

Jesus said......

Permit it at this time.... (Matt 3:15) I will come and heal him. (Matt 8:7) Come! (Matt 14:29) Let the little children come to Me.... (Mark 10:14) Let us go...... (Luke 8:22)...for today I must.... (Luke 19:5)

Jesus' time here on earth was brief. In fact if I lived the same amount of time that he had, I would already be dead.

So this is a "Note to Self"~

Dear Melissa,

"Life is not about all the extras, it is about the purpose for which you were created. It is about pouring yourself into the small things that really matter because in the end when it is all poured out, it will be something big... it will have been your whole life lived for the pleasure of self or for the pleasure of God.

You have been given a huge task to share the truth and love of Christ. He chose you to walk alongside Wesley as his helpmate and to train up your three little men in righteousness. These are no small tasks girl! So don't miss out thinking you are too busy with all the stuff that needs to be done, to do those little acts of service and love for those little feet that follow you around all day long. For those little voices that ask a million questions before 10am each morning!



Pour your heart into living all out for the glory of God and it will not have been wasted. Right now all around you there is disaster from storms that have ripped through homes and lives. You don't need all the stuff of life to live life. Fill up your heart with the truth and invest in the eternal.


God does intend for you to enjoy those extra blessings He bestows, but not to live for them. He does want you to be responsible with working at home, so you must not be idle and discern through prayer how to use your time each day wisely.

Live for Him and for them, it's worth all that you give up. I promise....."

Always Worth It

The day began with pancakes, singing and cards from all my men. This day that bears the name of so many women all over the world. Mothers Day, a celebration of the women that have had profound impact on our lives in various ways and for so many reasons. It is also a day that many say, "A day just for me!" I am sure that in some way we all feel an aspect of this thought.

This year, Mother's Day was not exactly what I had in mind. Not because anyone was trying to make it about other things but because, just as life happens, something else had to get done on Sunday. Honestly, I had something in mind that I really wanted to do that I thought would make the day great, but I was given the opportunity to practically live out my role as a wife and mother. I'm not always great at giving up what I want and it was a little hard on this day especially, but it all came down to my choice to surrender or hold on tight.

To be sacrificing for those that I love and choose to spend my life investing in each day. Although it seemed as though the day should be just what I wanted, it was also a day that was being used to help push me to grow. I said to Mr. Wonderful, "Anytime I have the opportunity to be more Christ-like, it's always worth it.....right?" He grins that grin that got me from the start and I know. I know that this stretching will be worth it.

As I look back on the day, I had so many blessings that made it special in it's own way.

The smiles on mothers faces as they carried roses given to them by their children at church

Watching my little men watch big trucks in action

Ice cream running down chubby fingers

Watching him (mr. wonderful) do what he is so good at....encouraging and teaching

Boys at play, free to run and climb, splashing in the pool

Salmon and asparagus

A quiet moment with mr. wonderful

Decals & Decisions

This post has been heavy on my heart for the past year and I have been in prayer about what to say as well as keeping a journal of thoughts on what I see around me and what I am always learning to be true of what God asks of us as parents. Yet, parenting is one of those very personal topics that many people do not like talk about. Everyone does it different, everyone thinks different types of behavior are acceptable, yet everyone seems to have an opinion!


When we first moved to this part of the country, I began noticing decals on the back windows of many cars that "advertised" different activities with which the children of that family were involved. I honestly did not put that much thought into it, until I was at a mom's group and a speaker shared about how the advertisement of all our children's accomplishments disheartened her because she never saw decals boasting in the Lord for His work in our children's lives. Decals for their day of salvation or for them reaching a goal of 100 verses memorized just to name a few examples. Honestly even those decals would be quite ironic, because God's word says for us to boast in our weaknesses and I have yet to see a decal that says "too often impatient mama at the wheel" or "brothers who aggravate each other too much."

I don't have a strong feeling against the whole decal thing, it just happened to be something that sparked in me an opportunity to think beyond just the decal.

As my little brood of blessings has grown and my husband and I continue to seek how to raise our young men how God intended us to, I find myself asking the question, "Why did we want to have children?" The 'spiritual' answer would be to obey God's command in Genesis 1:22 "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth..." But was that the REAL reason we wanted to have children? Was it the social question we kept getting, "When are y'all going to have kids?" Was it the feeling that it was just the next step in the journey? Honestly, hadn't we heard how hard it was, how much money it cost, how much time it takes and how much different so many aspects of our marriage would be after the kids come along! Yes, of course, we had heard it all.
We wanted to leave a legacy. We wanted something more purposeful to pour our lives into than what we felt we were doing at the time. For us it was a longing to build a home and family in which we could live out and teach what God had placed in our hearts to do. That is where our journey of parenthood started. We didn't mind if they were biological or not, our hearts just beat for children. It took three and a half years to conceive our first-born and soon before we found out we were expecting we began to pray for new eyes to see what else God had in store for us besides children. Use us in any way you want with or without kids~ that was my prayer.

My womb has been blessed four times with the reward of children, although we have only met three of them. We have left that to God's hand and each time we have another child I have an overwhelming feeling of being trusted yet again with a precious life that God has given to me temporarily here on this earth. I am amazed at His vote of confidence in us to raise them up in righteousness. So as life has continued moving at a high rate of speed, I have begun to notice how all the non-essential things of raising children seem to sometimes get in the way. Which leads to less focus on that which God says really matters.

Deuteronomy 6: 5-9 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. And you shall write them on the door post of your house and on your gates.

Being a parent who is going to leave a godly legacy means that we have to make the hard decisions NOW, when they are young and still in our home. The greatest pressure I often feel as a parent is that my children need to see an attractive model of following after God without reservation! Our life MUST show them that it is absolutely worth it. It is my responsibility to make the hard decisions for them now, so they know how to do it for themselves later.

Is it fun? No. Is it easy? No. I must decide about the movies, books, dance costumes, Halloween costumes or no costumes, friends, sports teams, make-up, birthday parties, concerts, t.v., clothes....everything! My lens has to be a narrow one, where God is filtering it all because they do not have that kind of filter yet. Even when they give their lives to the Lordship of Christ, we still must disciple them in their Christian walk.

Training our children in righteousness means choosing to live a life of righteousness on ALL fronts, even the hard ones. Even the ones that leave us as a bit of a social misfit. I want my boys to be able to say no, because they saw us say no and our lives still made sense. Why? Because it was being lived wholly for the glory of God. On paper it seems not so hard and maybe even inspiring. In shoe leather it is a whole different story. We will have to defend our choices that seem against the grain of culture, we will be questioned and need to be ready to give an account for the hope that lies within us. We need to know we will make some wrong decisions, but God's grace will redeem.

The extras in childhood are not bad in and of themselves, but the focus is what we must keep in constant accountability. The "why" of our decisions matter because it will greatly affect the "who" our children will grow to be someday. I will never make perfect decisions and I will never have it all put together. I will constantly need God to reveal the true state of my heart so that I can live attractively for Him. I will find more pressure and less support as the world continues on because we know that it only becomes harder to live fully surrendered to the cause of Christ. But isn't that why we are all here in the first place?

So I ask myself each day, who is getting first place today, Melissa? Which decal are you advertising today by the decisions you make for you and your children?

Happy Birthday Bug

Seven years ago, I was actually sleeping right now at this very moment (thanks to a half epidural) and resting after having been in natural labor for 8 hours. However, soon I would awaken to strong contractions and the birth of my very first child. A son....

You were 7 lbs. 8 oz. and 20 inches long. A son....I could hardly believe how beautiful you were. Daddy and I were filled with so many thoughts about this moment, but most of all were were just extremely grateful. It took us 3 1/2 years to have you and blessed doesn't seem to come close to how we felt.

You are very independent, a thinker and a seeker of knowledge. You always want to help and have a job, as well as ask many many questions about how, when, why, where and what...... You are most often quite serious for a boy your age, but if I find you any other way, it is most often being silly with one of your brothers or your daddy!


I have loved watching you grow into a young man and I enjoy watching you "work out the world" in your mind all the time. I so often come in the kitchen to find that you have cleaned it all up, you love to make breakfast for us all on Saturdays and are the first to volunteer to help with Evan. Thank you for your heart that wants to serve and help.

I also love when we go on dates~ it is so fun watching you be the "man" and open doors, order and pay the bill! You, of course, also LOVE date night with mommy! You are a wonderful athlete and I look forward to watching you grow more over this next year!

Happy Birthday Bug, we love you!

This is one of my favorite photos from this past summer at our family photo session. You were hot and very tired and asked me to carry you. I couldn't resist because you will not be this size forever and soon I will not be able to carry you. I had to seize the chance while I still could! Love you my firstborn little man...

Living out Galatians 6:2

Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

I believe that in everyone's life there is a season, if not more than one, where the burdens of this life we live become too much for one to bear. We are not completely defeated because our hope is in Christ, but completely weary is a reality.

My precious family has been in a season like this for the past 6 months. The strain of my husbands job, which has left me solo-parenting six days a week, has taken its toll. I do not at all share this to sound like I am complaining, but simply to help you see the greater message of this post. Unfortunately, as hard as we have tried to shield our precious boys and keep things as constant as we can, this past week it all came crumbling down.

I am grateful for the circumstances because they have caused us to be desperate for our God in a way that we could not know without this amount of stress. It has stripped us of our strength and revealed weaknesses and inadequacies that push us to call upon our Rock & Tower of Strength. It is often hard to praise God and consider it all joy, but honestly we have no choice. We say we believe in the Sovereignty of our God, so we must live like we do! He will be faithful to bring about His purpose for our lives. We can be a willing participant or not. I prefer to obey and reap the benefits of His hand of goodness, rather than His hand of discipline. However, I know how imperfectly I obey, so there has been much learning along the way!

I have had dear friends reach out to serve and help during this time and I am so grateful. Although I will admit it is a small circle who has known this struggle. Not for any other reason than the fact that I tend to keep quiet, because I know who and what is most helpful. As well as the fact that I want to protect my husband and family through this process.

Last week I met with a dear friend who witnessed the actual melt-down of my sweet boys due to the pressure we are all facing. She was so dear and grace-based in talking with me and coming alongside. That afternoon she e-mailed me asking if she could help in a specific way over the next few weeks. I was blown away at her offer to serve my family.

First, she initiated helping me in a way that I would never ask someone to do, but in a way that is completely practical! I will admit that sometimes it is hard for me to know what to ask help with, it has all seemed overwhelming. Second, she shared her heart in wanting to help and in that God revealed something really neat to me.

To be used of God in service to others, our hearts must be in the right place. I am sure there have been many times you have sought God's direction in how to serve others. Now as He reveals ways to you and you are obedient, you are excited about being able to help. But then the person declines. It really isn't a fault to them, but being here in this place where God is revealing this to me, I see how not accepting help is sometimes a hindrance to the other person.

Accepting their offer is accepting Christ's love. It is letting them live out Galatians 6:2. God says to bear one another's burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. Love God and love your neighbors. Serving and being served is love, when done with a heart to please God above all things.

Pride has no place in accepting help. (Not that it has any place anywhere!) But I'm just saying that when we let that get in the way, we become a stumbling block. We also become our own worst enemy because we are actually saying that we know a better way and that God's command of "bear one another's burden" is really not that great. I know that may sound harsh, but in my heart I really think that's what we are doing.

I was so humbled by my friends offer of help and humbled by God's gracious hand of mercy upon me and my family. I am grateful for all that He is teaching me even when I least expect it! I love how He knows me and all that I need when I need it in such detail. He brings all things together so beautifully and I am incredibly blessed to be at this end of such an amazing gift of blessing. This challenge ahead of us to weed out the good and seek His true will for us seems daunting at times, but these "sweet spots" are just the encouragement I need to give me that push to keep going. The end result, when done in God's will, is going to be absolutely worth it!

He's on the move!

Well hello there! I really cannot believe how long it has been since I've posted.... No excuses, just the reality of the season of life we are wading through right now! I have had some things on my heart that are posts in my mind, I am praying that soon God will allow me some "extra" time to put them down here. But for now, some fun pictures to bring family and friends up to date with the Carruthers Brothers!

From the title of this post I'm guessing that you have figured out that Evan is now walking! He turned 10 months old and walked the next day! It has been a sweet mix of emotions for me, as I love watching them grow, but also want to hold on to him as long as I can in that sweet baby stage. Here is a snapshot of him and as you will see he is quite proud of himself!




Luke turned five in late October and had a "Bug Birthday", the weather was beautiful and we were able to have it outside~ He really is showing signs of growing up so much! We made a BIG deal of him turning 5 and he has gladly stepped up to the occasion! He and I went to see "Live Veggie Tales" and he was the winner of the big drawing for a 30 DVD box set of movies! He was pretty excited :)
We had fun at our annual pumpkin patch visit~ it was about 80 degrees and with no rain for months, extremely dusty! But fun was had by all of us and we were able to capture the boys again at our favorite pumpkin spot!

This was Eli's second season of soccer. He loves this sport and always has a good time on the field. He loves when Daddy is home on Sunday's to play with him in the yard! This was his last game and it was quite chilly!

Both of the boys are doing well in school~ of course Luke likes to be on the move as much as he can, but he is really growing in his ability to sit focused on school and tasks! Evan loves to be a part of everything we do and has learned to be right with the boys, but now always "in their stuff"~ Here he is helping Eli with his homework :)

The boys have been playing lots of football lately, and Evan thinks it is so funny! He even claps for them when they are done. Every time the boys throw the ball to the each other, Evan cracks up laughing! They are such a joy to us and I am glad I had a little time to share with them with you! Love you all :)

A little family update....

Hello! Here are some new pictures of my sweet men :)

Eli's first day of first grade:

My silly Luke:

My growing little man Evan:

We are finally getting into a new routine with first grade and K1 for Luke. Evan is still a quiet and happy little boy. He is busy all over the house and thinks he can walk....hence the bruise on his head, which stays there most of the time! He is 18 pounds and 8 months old! He does this adorable "bear crawl" where his knees do not touch the ground at all! I am so blessed and I am loving each day with my three little men. Have a great day!

Choices

To me, life is a mix of different colored threads that are constantly being woven together. Even when I am sleeping the Master is at work. HE is Sovereign and in the moments of life when everything seems to shut down and you are left with this ache... remembering that HE is still on the throne gives you just enough air to take another breath and move forward.

HE is in control, yet HE allows me to have a voice in my own life. So my choices are vitally important. Each decision I make declares my allegiance. It says outwardly what I really believe in my heart. I can be fearful and uncertain. I can have too many questions without enough answers. I can be crying out for the waters to be parted. These places are real.

I cannot stay there to be swept away by the feeling that this isn't what I would choose for myself. I must trust in HIS sovereignty and rest in the knowledge that He is a good God and the ever-changing circumstances of life do not change HIM.

I can imagine in my head the beauty that life beholds when you have that perfect view from a distance. All the surrendered cries of the heart, the praise from broken lips and the faith shouted out loud by the actions of servants willing to say "It all belongs to YOU."

Choices.

Each one matters. How am I making sure that I am making ones that matter for His sake?

Often, there is more laundry than I would like to see on the kitchen table.
There is more dust on tables and dishes in the sink.There are more papers that I'd like to be filed and paint left over from small hands that spilled it on the floor.

There is also the sound of laughter that is extremely contagious.
There is freshly painted hand-prints I will want when they are grown and on their own.
There is the sound of an eager first grader reading to his brothers the next Frog & Toad adventure.
There are discussions about what it would be like to walk on water and see Jesus raise from the dead.
There are two big brothers showing him how to build legos.
There are doors opened that I would not walk through just on my own.
There is a letting go of all those complications.
There is a sleeping baby in just his diaper.


And my heart cries out in praise for the gifts I have been given. My mind is full of too many thoughts to make sense of, so.... I surrender them to Him and walk in faith THIS day. For He is still on the throne and His watchful eye is upon me.

And there is life being woven together.....

Journal Writings...

forgiveness
the stillness of a new morning
fresh dew
laughter
conviction
provision
new opportunities to serve
the simple acceptance of a child
fresh beginnings

The darkness of the human condition, the knowing of your own shortcomings and barriers to complete allegiance to Him, makes HIS goodness hard to grasp. His grace is extended to me at all times, yet in the stimulation of all that surrounds me, I forget that GRACE is what sustains me. From sun-up to sun-down I serve, love and pour myself out, often missing the small moments to refresh my soul in the warmth of His goodness.

details being worked out years in advance
protection
an encouraging husband
daily learning moments that stretch me
healthy active boys
accountability
His Word...steady, reliable, true

When life begins to feel like an endless cycle of stuff, lists, chores...I feel the pull. My heart is being tugged at for change.
Simplicity. Stillness. Focus. Intentional actions.
The desire of my heart and the reality of our daily routine do not match. The "everyday life" takes up so much space, it seems hard to shift. Oh Lord, that you would make room and help me to see the narrow path on which to lead my boys each day. Thank you Lord for knocking, for being there ready. You are always ready. Am I? Do I greet each day basking in the stillness of your new mercy, savoring the moment of quiet before the house becomes all abuzz with the activities of my precious little men. Life can be complicated by so many things, Oh Lord, help me keep my vision clear and simple. You have called me to much....

dirty laundry
messy beds
boo boos and band-aides
oatmeal in bowls
spilled juice on the table
papers to be filed
ministry
training in righteousness
home-schooling
help-mate
cleaning floors

This is the life with which you have blessed me, called me, and equipped me to partake in. The journey of my soul to hunger for you more deeply. The process in which you are refining me to look more like You ~ and you call me....

"But to do justice, to love kindness; And to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

Grazers

Grazer is a good word to describe me and my eating habits. I typically eat small snacks and small meals all day long. I am not a fan of a big meal, except at dinner time. So, when I went with a friend this past Wednesday to a MOPS group, I was so excited that the speaker was talking about children's nutrition. She had so many helpful things to suggest and hints to help with what to be feeding our kids and why. One thing I was encouraged by is that it is better to eat 5-6 small meals through-out the day! Yea! We are already grazers!

Now, the really practical part that I loved... a snack tray for my boys. Isn't this cute?
So, this is how it worked for us today. I introduced the snack tray and let the boys know that when the tray is out on the table, they are welcome to sit down and eat anything in the muffin tin. This gives them freedom to eat when they are hungry, lets me decide what good nutritional food they will be getting and keeps me from having to make them something. Now, I know that not every house runs like this, but for us this is a great solution! I also set water bottles out for them to make sure they get enough water each day.

It was fun to see them sitting together after playing outside and having a snack. They also ate a great supper and cleaned their plates. I did not hear them say, "I'm hungry, when is supper?" They also did not ask for any other snacks, they were content with what was in the tray~ even the trail mix, which they typically do not eat!

This very small change reminded me of a few things:

1. Children love new things to capture their attention. My boys look forward to fun new things and they stick with it. I know that tomorrow morning Eli will be asking me where the snack tray is!
2. Children also love boundaries. After very clearly explaining the idea of the muffin tin snacks, they were content and did not ask all day to have a snack or when it was time to eat. They were happy with the pre-chosen snacks.
3. Children love to have small amounts of freedom. They feel special when they get to have a choice and it is important to build this ability in them. They may not like all that is offered, but they can choose to eat the snack they want. And in this case, they even ate something that they are not that fond of, but it was all that was left when they wanted a snack later in the day!

So maybe this will work for you, even if it is one day a week that is special and out of the ordinary routine. Let me know how you used this idea and how your kids responded to it! Have fun with them this week and remember to enjoy the journey of motherhood. If you do not have kids then start keeping a notebook of fun things you come across that you can do when and if God expands your family someday to include children. If not, you can pass them along or use them with children that may be a part of your life.

Happy Grazing! :)

From Pie Pockets to a Post

It all started with this recipe for Pear~Raspberry pie pockets. They looked delicious and fun to make, so I had some "free-time" (ha ha!) early one morning and decided to give them a try!

As I worked with my hands, mixing together all the ingredients, rolling out the dough and cutting out the hearts; so many thoughts came to mind. Each one of them centered around these verses, Proverbs 31:13b & 27, "and works with her hands in delight; She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."

I was enjoying the process of diligently making something for my boys to enjoy. It was an expression of love for them and the time-consuming work involved was worth it. When I first came across the recipe, I was drawn first to the picture and did not think about the time it would actually take to make them. I was only thinking about how wonderful the end result would be!

WOW! There are so many things in life that I approach with this same attitude. I plow ahead, sometimes overlooking the preparation needed to successfully arrive at the much desired end result. I even hurry through some details that require more investment than I think is needed. But, once I'm in the process I cannot just walk away, I must finish. This is the point where I must stop and dig in to The Source to find what will sustain me to persevere. I should have started here, but often foolishly begin on my own.

This happens in my marriage, my role as a mother, a friend, a servant in the church.... my intentions are sometimes more diligent than my actions. I feel that in my heart I am most sincere with how I would like to "flesh out" my roles, but my humanness keeps me from being as devoted as I would like to be. I am selfish, inconsistent, distracted, off-track~

Just like this beautiful recipe that caught my eye, life has many beautiful moments that I do not want to miss. But unfortunately I sometimes miss out on the best, because I have not prepared myself for the journey that is needed to receive that best. I choose for myself instead of trusting what God knows is best for me.

The previously mentioned verses are among my favorite and when I spend time thinking about how to practically live them out, I know that it must begin with me being in the Word and close to my Heavenly Father. That is how I prepare for the journey. That is how I get the best of what God has for me. It will involve me working hard and investing more time than I may have planned for. Some days I will not "feel" like giving what I need to give, but it's not about me. All that I do is "unto the Lord."

I was so excited to make these fun pies, as an expression of love. I want to be just as excited to work hard each day investing in what God has given me, as an expression of love to my Heavenly Father. I was grateful that as I was working with my hands, doing something that would be noticed by only a few, God opened my eyes to see His Truth. He awakened my heart to a vital truth that I needed to spend time renewing in my heart to live out every day. Had I completely stopped working hard and investing in my roles? Not at all, but in desiring to be obedient to God's call on my life, I cannot afford to overlook details. I must take time to read the recipe and diligently follow through. I must also be on the look-out for learning about God's truth in all circumstances.

Father, I pray that I will be a woman who works with her hands in delight, looks well to the ways of my household with diligence and offers an expression of love to You by the way I live my life each day.

Just so grateful...

There are so many blessings in my life that God has been so gracious to allow me to have! Here's to my precious family that make my life more full! I thank them for their unconditional love & support. ~ Love you!

(By the way...there is a fun song with this, but sometimes I have to scroll all the way to the bottom for it to start playing!)

Life with Boys....

Here are some snapshots of life here in our house with three boys! Always an adventure and so much joy! As I am learning more and more about our sweet baby, I see ways in which God has prepared me to be the mother of boys. I see reasons why he has chosen Wesley and I to raise men and I am so grateful~ HIS plan is perfect and I love being able to fully trust in that alone. We love our precious boys and look forward to what God has in store for us as a family of five!

BIG Helpers!! Lots of sleeping & one busy mama!

Abundant Joy: Family, The Legacy left to me

Family is one of those words that when mentioned in a crowd of people, you are sure to find a vast difference in what comes to mind to each person there. Legacy is a word that people either misunderstand, find intimidating or know and greatly value. God's original family was created in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. But, we all know how long the ideal lasted and how much the ideal family structure has deteriorated over time.

When I looked up the definition of legacy in Webster's dictionary, the first definition was in regards to receiving a gift of monetary value. Interesting, because I am quite certain that in God's idea of us leaving a legacy, He had in mind the second definition of ancestors passing on to future generations, the knowledge and foresight they had been given. After all, what do we find in Deuteronomy 6:4-8?

• Hear, O Israel: The Lord your God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your hear. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they be as frontlets between your eyes."

Regardless of what kind of legacy you were left, none of it will be wasted. As we learned in our last study, God has had a plan for you since before you were even created. He has not overlooked any of the details and is aware of what is in your past. All He asks is that you trust Him and allow Him to use what you have been given as a part of your testimony to His goodness in your life.

How would you answer these two important questions from your childhood:
1. Was I loved?
2. Could I have my own way?

The combination of the answers you have to these two questions can have more than likely had a profound effect on your life. I am currently reading Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel and he speaks of three inner needs that every child desires to have met:

• A Significant Purpose
• A Sincere Love
• A Strong Hope

Why? Because the three aspects provide a strong foundation for one's maturing in their trust of a Holy and Sovereign God. Now, I do not know what kind of legacy you were left by your family, but we are going to take some time and look at two important responses we must have in focus when processing and living with that legacy.

Read Ephesians 4:29-5:1 What words seem significant to you from these verses?
Paul is writing in context about the shedding of your old self and the putting on of the new self; which is in the likeness of God. Here in these verses he encourages us to "let all bitterness....be put away from you" and to "forgive just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

Bitterness is a steady harboring that poisons the whole inner man. It will rob you of joy and wreak havoc in homes. Instead in Psalm 133:1, we are encouraged to dwell in unity. When evaluating our legacy, an array of emotions can surface, but we must remember to filter them through the lens of Truth and not act on them alone. Harboring bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit who dwells in our heart and we lose the joy of our salvation. It also grieves the Son of God who gave His life for us and our Heavenly Father who loves us and desires us to be walking a life that honors and pleases Him.

Unforgiveness is Satan's playground, and too often Christians turn it into a battleground. Satan wants a foothold because he desires to use that which may be a shortcoming in our family legacy as a stumbling block to our faith. God wants us to forgive with an attitude that is gracious.

• Forgiveness is choosing to deny a transgression (name it) the power to adversely affect my relationship with the transgressor (name him/her).

Through Christ we have the ability to forgive and then move forward to having a heart of gratefulness. We know that nothing is wasted with God, therefore we can have confidence in the hope Christ alone provides. He will use our story, if we let Him.

Read Colossians 3:12-15. We are reminded that we are chosen and must put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. We must bear with one another and forgive, for love is the perfect bond of unity. Then we are encouraged to let the peace of Christ rule (or umpire every circumstance in life) in our heart.

Forgiveness and gratefulness alone are an extraordinary witness to the work of God in our lives when it comes to overcoming difficult circumstances that we did not choose for ourselves. You have been carefully watched over by God and He will give you the ability to live that honors Him, regardless of what you bring along with you.

Is "good" the very "best?"

Tonight my husband and I were talking about the loss of kindness in today's world. We had been out and about and I simply asked him, "Is being friendly really that hard?" I don't mean it as a judgement against others, but rather as a realization of something I feel we as a people in general have lost.

It made me think of my time spent living in Mexico and Honduras. My heart was remembering how genuinely kind everyone was to us. At the markets, in the streets, at the church, in their homes and in their care of us. It was important to them that they make every effort to extend a hand of kindness to us at any given opportunity.

Now, let us gain some perspective~ When the precious people of these two places were asked what it meant to be rich or have plenty of what you needed. They most often responded with "having a two day supply of food ready," "having at least $300.00," "having good shoes to walk to and from work and the markets," "school for your children," and the most honest being "good with what you have." Meaning contentment, of course.

The other thing I said to my husband was that the children were happy, content and well-behaved. Why? I think it is because families stay together for work, for play, for worship.... The children know their role in the family and work each day to help the family survive and run smoothly. There are also no distractions for these children because they have very little. One child I had the privilege of spending a week with received a lollipop when we first arrived. On the day we left, he still had it in his pocket, because he only ate a small amount each day, so it would last.

Sadly, I am certain this is not a strong character quality I have developed in my own children. We certainly do go with less than some people I know and in some cases more than others, but somewhere we have missed the mark at really cultivating in our children a sense of "pure contentment." Which of course, led us to discussing what more we can do to help strengthen this character quality in our children. I do know that it is definately a choice they can make in being happy and content. It is certainly biblical, "If you have food and shelter, with these you shall be content." (1 Timothy 6:8) So, how have we ended up off the path of contentment?

Distractions. We do many things that are good for our children and beneficial is some ways. Now, why do I choose the things I choose for them? Many different reasons, but the most important should be to honor God and teach them what it means to live a life set apart for His purposes. So many times the "rules of society" get in the way of solid truth-based thinking. We, as the family, need to be training our children in righteousness. This process must start in the home! The job of parenting actually belongs to parents! (I know, what an ironic thought!!)

My husband and I are working in the trenches with our children, because we desire them to grow in their understanding of what it means to live by the way of righteousness. But there are always sneaky forks in the road we sometimes haphazardly end up pursuing. So begins a new journey in this house of aligning ourselves to the path of "pure contentment." I will be sharing thoughts and ways of the process as we journey along, so stay tuned!

Here is my challenge to you! Stop and look at an average day in your child's life and see what might be distracting them. Look for the value in what you are doing and evaluate as necessary. I'm sure that we can all use some time to balance the scales of what our children are doing that is good for them with what is actually best for them!
Let me know how your process is going, I would love to hear from you~

A Mother's Legacy

Today is my Mama's birthday and I want to say, "Happy Birthday, Mom!"

My mom has had a profound influence on my life and she is the first woman I think of when someone asks me who has had the greatest influence on me as a woman. This is a small tribute to her and all that she has meant to me my whole life...

She is a survivor.

She is a woman who loves her amazing God.

She is determined to live her life in such a way that it positively impacts those around her.

She is devoted to her family and sees the value of investing in her children's lives.

She has faith in what she cannot always see, because she trusts in God.

She is adventurous.

She is one who works diligently at all she puts her hands to.

She challenges herself and is always looking for opportunity to grow and learn.

She loves deeply and whole-heartedly.

She is a one who has left a beautiful legacy to her children of a woman who fears the Lord and works hard each day to make a difference in the place God has placed her. I am most grateful that she has taught me how to love, how to trust God and how to live life to the fullest.

Thank you mama~ Happy Birthday!

Pumpkins & Perfection

The boys and I were able to make our annual visit to the pumpkin patch this year, although Daddy was unable to attend with us. We had so much fun and I was amazed at the beauty of the land. God's perfect care of a patch of pumpkins, made available at the perfect time of year for us to come and enjoy. He is a God of details and I am so grateful. My heart is heavy at this time and I smile at the knowledge that God knows and is busy at work in my life even when I do not see it all. The simple laughter and joy of my boys settles the storm inside me. God's gracious gift of ever-living joy all around me. Thank you Father, I do not deserve your graciousness, yet you so abundantly enrich my life with your love.