Choices

To me, life is a mix of different colored threads that are constantly being woven together. Even when I am sleeping the Master is at work. HE is Sovereign and in the moments of life when everything seems to shut down and you are left with this ache... remembering that HE is still on the throne gives you just enough air to take another breath and move forward.

HE is in control, yet HE allows me to have a voice in my own life. So my choices are vitally important. Each decision I make declares my allegiance. It says outwardly what I really believe in my heart. I can be fearful and uncertain. I can have too many questions without enough answers. I can be crying out for the waters to be parted. These places are real.

I cannot stay there to be swept away by the feeling that this isn't what I would choose for myself. I must trust in HIS sovereignty and rest in the knowledge that He is a good God and the ever-changing circumstances of life do not change HIM.

I can imagine in my head the beauty that life beholds when you have that perfect view from a distance. All the surrendered cries of the heart, the praise from broken lips and the faith shouted out loud by the actions of servants willing to say "It all belongs to YOU."

Choices.

Each one matters. How am I making sure that I am making ones that matter for His sake?

Often, there is more laundry than I would like to see on the kitchen table.
There is more dust on tables and dishes in the sink.There are more papers that I'd like to be filed and paint left over from small hands that spilled it on the floor.

There is also the sound of laughter that is extremely contagious.
There is freshly painted hand-prints I will want when they are grown and on their own.
There is the sound of an eager first grader reading to his brothers the next Frog & Toad adventure.
There are discussions about what it would be like to walk on water and see Jesus raise from the dead.
There are two big brothers showing him how to build legos.
There are doors opened that I would not walk through just on my own.
There is a letting go of all those complications.
There is a sleeping baby in just his diaper.


And my heart cries out in praise for the gifts I have been given. My mind is full of too many thoughts to make sense of, so.... I surrender them to Him and walk in faith THIS day. For He is still on the throne and His watchful eye is upon me.

And there is life being woven together.....

Simple-mindedness & Sovereignty

For the past few days I have been unable to quiet the many thoughts that run around in my head looking for clear direction and anwsers. Unfortunately, because they center around the whole idea of God's "chosen" and those "not chosen," it is not likely that I will actually come to a nicely packaged black & white anwser. Although this is how my brain works that best.

I know that I will land on the side that God is Sovereign, but I can't help to ask the questions and wrestle with it in my head. Which then leads me asking, "Why are some things easier for me to leave solely in the hands of my Sovereign God, while others things I feel need an answer or help from my hand of control. (Ha! Ha!)

Like for example, the picture at right was taken just a few days ago and I do not at all spend time questioning how God is knitting together in me another precious life. It is so beyond me, I just rest in knowing He is in control. We don't like to find out if we are being blessed with a boy or girl. I do have a hearts leaning toward one, but I rest knowing God knows who we need to be joining our family and I am excited about finding out who that little person will be.

Over the past few days as I have wrestled with the thoughts rambling on in my head, I have found that I greatly love the characteristic of God that He is Sovereign. Just saying that outloud causes me to take a deep breath~ nothing is out of His watchful eye and hand of perfect provision. The most amazing part is that it is ALL for His glory, which is bigger than I can comprehend, so although I will never understand His perfect will, I can fully trust it.

And what may I ask is full-proof trustworthy today? Nothing, except the Sovereignty of God, which is not at all simple-minded. Psalm 139:17 "How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them." God has something to say about all aspects of my life, nothing is hidden from His sight. Now, I also have much to say about all aspects of my life, but do they line up with what my Sovereign God of the universe has to say?

Well, let me be still so I can hear just what He has to say. I am certain it will be beyond my own simple-minded thoughts, yet just right for me to understand and know what He is asking of me. God is pretty cool like that, I think.....Big enough to take care of it ALL, and near enough for me to feel and hear Him whisper to my heart His desires for me.