Out of the mouth of babes...

I have always called Wesley "my Mr. wonderful"~ yes it may be cheesy, but it just came out one day in a sincere way and it has stuck. So when Wesley comes home, we are making something for him or Eli is writing him a card he refers to him as "our wonderful daddy." I am sure this has been influenced from my calling him "my Mr. wonderful" for as long as Eli has been around!

Which of course, then led me to think about all that comes out of my mouth and how my boys use what they hear~ for example:

"Now Mommy, please don't get fussy with me; Evan was crying and needed to be walk-holded." (Luke)

"Well, actually....." (used for many things by Eli)

"Sanctification only happens through Jesus" (Eli)

"Now Eli, we don't say never because we have to try!" (Luke)

"Well, we will all be in heaven, except for Luke~ we need to pray for him to give his heart to Jesus." "And our baby, because Evan was born with a black heart." (Eli)

"Mommy, is God bigger than the sky?" (Yes, baby He is) "Oh right, he's omnis....oh you know...I can't remember... what is that word?" (Luke)

"Mommy, you have to have the verse in your heart, so you can whip it out and shoot the enemy!" (Eli)

"Eli, what were you asked to do?" (Luke)

"Who do I smell so beautiful back here?" (Luke)

"You need to be on God's team, not Satan's team." (Eli)

So this kind of thinking naturally led me to focus more on what I was saying and how I was imparting life with my words. Being a mama has moments where I have to take many deep breaths before I speak. A very dear friend of mine was talking about how she was really working on keeping her tone and inflection the same with her children. She made such an important point that her children needed to obey right away to the same voice all the time. So very true!

They also need to hear the kind of speech that you want them to use, because what they hear is what they will say! We all know how very true this is! :) So my challenge to all of us is to be intentional is using words that impart life, encourage and build up those around us.

Luke 6:45 says, "The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."

Inside their world

As I look at the picture of my oldest son on the right sidebar, I think of all the things that run through his mind in one day. He is full of imagination, ideas and plans. He listens to us talk and then tries so hard to "be big" when he talks in everyday conversation.


Today, he had this conversation with a friend and her 7 year old daughter:
E: "Miss Kittie, we have been recycling."
K: "Wow! We do that too at our house."

E: "Daddy finally brought home a bin for us, because I have been wanting to recycle for...years." (He says with a slight roll of his eyes)

K: "Yes, since you were three?"

E: "Since I was four..."

Kittie's daughter then says so straight-faced..."You are four."

Eli just looks at her and nods his head.



Tonight, looking back on that converstaion, I started thinking on how much time I actually spend in their world. I really want my children to know that what they are thinking and the ideas they would like to see happening are valuable. I find that since mine are so strong that I am often trying to find a balance between being their guardrail and really engaging in conversation with them.

I have just started reading The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. Yesterday I was encouraged in my role as a wife and mother, because I was reading about how my role is God-ordained. My children are to know what it means to be emotionally stable, encouraged, physically sustained and spiritually healthy because of my example.

We have to know the heart of our children in order to build a sustaining relationship with each of them. If I do not take time to invest individually, by getting down at their level and inside their world, I will be lost in navigating my way around their hearts. When children feel safe and secure they are open and can reveal quite a bit about themselves through play, words and actions.
This makes me think of Charlotte's Web where the mother asks the doctor if she thinks it's acutally possible for animals to speak. The doctor replies by saying, well it is possible that an animal spoke to me today, but I was too busy to hear or notice.

So, how are we doing at really listening to our children? I have a friend who, because of her son's challenges in speaking, treasures each word he says. In my home, both of my children talk all day and I have to be honest that I don't know that I "treasure" each and every one of those precious words. But, I certainly should be treasuring them! The hold much insight to my children. Even when they are silly, they want me to think they are silly. When they feel upset or misunderstood, they want to know that I understand those feelings.

My children's words are a small window into who they are, how they are wired and how they view the world. The myriad of questions that come from them each day are their way of learning about the world. My job is to instill in them a godly worldview. I do this by being in God's word and then passing on that truth to my children. This is my purpose as a mother. Deuteronomy says I should teach the truth of the word of God diligently to my sons and shall talk of them. When? When I sit in my house, and when I walk by the way, and when I rise up and when I lie down.

Talk. Talk. Talk. Yes, I need to be talking, BUT I also need to be engaging my chilren in conversation with me. I need to remember to let them have a voice and to most importantly listen. If I want to know them better, I can learn quite a bit just by being still and quiet. Funny...isn't that how I also learn more about my amazing God? Yes, I do recall that He asks me to "be still and know." I shall set it as my goal this week to do just that with my sweet boys. Hopefully in the next week I will know something new about them!

I challenge you to find ways and make time to do the same with your children. Let us know what you discover by being still and quiet with your children. Reverse the roles some and see what you might learn from being inside their world! Have fun~

Titus 2: "not malicious gossips"

I am a little off schedule this week, but Saturday was our monthly Titus 2 study and I was unable to post on this month's topic, so here it is!

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips..." Titus 2:3

This so beautifully follows “reverent in their behavior,” because we cannot control our tongue apart from a strong relationship with our Master. We must use His word as the source of our truth. It must be the plumbline for our speech. Controlling one’s tongue is a mark of maturity. Paul is telling the older women, they must use self-control when using their tongues, so that they impart life, not death. “That they may encourage…” cannot flow from a heart marred by words of deceit and lack of truthfulness.

Well, we might say, I would not consider myself a gossip. Let’s look at this word more closely and see what God says about “gossip.”

The NASB uses the term “not malicious gossips," which in Greek (diabolos) is defined as slanderous or accusing falsely. (It is translated devil 34 times) **An interesting side note: this term diabolos is absent when speaking of men and their speech**

So ladies, what is God trying to tell us? Watch your words!! Be aware of the tongue, it can slander, deceit, tear down, accuse falsely and intentionally harm others. Now, for the zinger…
Operating on the basis of lies and false information or “maliciously gossip” is to actually imitate Satan himself, because as John 8:44 says, "he does not stand in truth, because the truth is not in him, he is the father of lies..."

A woman who “traffics in information” is taking great liberty with something that does not “belong” to her. We must guard information shared with us. God tells us to “love our neighbor as ourself.” If you are entrusted with someone’s private information, keep it that way! It is not yours to tell, unless you have sought permission, or they have said it is ok to share.
Paul is speaking directly to “malicious gossip”, so let us put it into perspective:

Malicious: imitating or working as an accomplice to Satan with intent to do harm
Gossip: just wanting to traffic in information. Habitually reveals sensationalism

Neither is acceptable! Psalm 19:14 says, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.”

This world is full of many people with evil intent. Let us be one who goes against the grain of society and be an example of God’s character through our speech. Where is the root of the problem? In the HEART... for "the mouth speaks from that which fills the heart." (Matt 12:34)

Here is my challenge to us this month in the area of our speech:

1. What can you begin to do this week to begin building a reputation of one that is careful with her words? How can you be sure that you are imparting life each time you have the opportunity to speak.

2. Based on Proverbs 18:21, how would you characterize your speech? How does your speech change/differ when talking with co-workers? Your husband? Your friends? Your children? When you are at church?

Let us examine our hearts very carefully and seek to honor God with our words. Let us be the kind of encouragement that shows others the character of God. How can you be a godly example of a woman who watches her tongue?