What I do deserve....

is well, something much different than what my Heavenly Father has given me. What is it that He bestows on me? grace

My husband and I have been given the incredible privilege to be a part of a body of believers that is led by what we would call a "true shepherd." In the recent words of my husband he is a man who is "unwavering and unashamed of the Gospel. He sacrifices much to make God look good." A recent example of this is a sermon series he just finished on grace. Click here to listen on-line.

What was so wonderful about the entire series was that is was not about "saving grace," but something entirely different. It was about how we actually live out and grow in grace! Two weeks ago, Pastor Jim said, "God always gives us what we don't deserve and withholds what we do deserve. This also means that grace frees God to give us what love requires." I was literally silenced for the rest of the day! Just a side note: this is a rare thing! :)

You see, we were recently gifted with something far beyond what I would even call reasonable. Something that we knew we were most certainly undeserving of, yet in God's perfect ways He saw fit to "grace" us with. Why? I'm still not sure, except for the simple fact that God always gives us what we don't deserve. We are very aware that with this gracious gift comes great responsibility that we do not take lightly. A beautiful thing it has developed in me is this constant awareness of my thoughts concerning this gift.

I know this is also the beautiful hand of God at work getting me to return to a constant state of open communication with Him. He is so good to work that way. Kind of like letting us learn to be humble by giving us children to raise! If you have any, you know what I'm talking about, bless their sweet little hearts~

And speaking of children, through this series and the lavish gift of grace God bestowed upon us, He rendered my heart still at the thought that I had much room to grow in offering grace to my children. Honestly, this is sometimes hard for me because of the amount of training involved in raising two strong and charging young men! They sometimes seem so differently behaved than their peers and the things they come up with to do simple leave me speechless sometimes. I tend to lean on the side of firm, rather than grace.

But, you know what? I was chosen to be their mama! I was chosen to to do for them what no one else can do! I was asked by God to walk in the grace He has given me, in order to give that grace to these precious children entrusted to me for their time on earth. This does not always come easy, but then....am I not a child of God who is also sometimes acting in such a way that makes it difficult to be one who is shown grace? YES! I definitely am~

So, what I deserve is nothing even close to the idea of grace, but what I am given is grace in it's purest form. Love that springs from the heart of my Heavenly Father, because He desires for me to walk in grace, be strengthened in grace and live out grace to those around me.

Who around you needs to be shown the beautiful hand of grace? Are you aware of what you have been given, not just to be saved but to bestow upon others? Well, then to all of us I say, let's get to work "springing grace" on those around us! (You will understand this more after listening to the sermon series!)

Child Training Tuesday: Library List

The Squire and the Scroll...............Jennie Bishop
Paintings by Presto McDaniels
This book is a wonderful training tool for young boys, concerning guarding their pure heart. There is also a version for young girls. It tells the story of a young squire who accompanies a knight on a quest to rescue the Lantern of Purest Light. Along the way, he uses the commands taught to him by his parents from his scroll. An example is "Make level paths for your feet." A wonderful training tool and a good story with beautiful paintings.

One Boy.........Laura Vaccaro Seeger This fun book uses cut-outs within the page to help make words on the following page. Very fun reading with bright primary color pictures.

Inch by Inch..........Leo Lionni (Caldecott Honor Book) A simple and eye-drawing book of artwork with a story of a winsome inchworm who measure everything under the sun!

Charlie & Lola: But excuse Me that is My book................... Lauren Child Based on the television show Charlie and Lola, this book is very fun to read and look at! The pictures and print are whimsical and crazy. The story is about a book Lola loves that she is unable to bring home her favorite book, but finds something new and exciting!

ABCDrive........Naomi Howland A fun alphabet picture book that uses all the many different things we see as we travel for the alphabet words.

Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel.......Virginia Lee Burton If you have not been exposed to Ms. Burtons artwork, it is enchanting! The sweet story of enduring friendship and loyalty will inspire your children to look out for the best for others.

The Little House......Virginia Lee Burton This is one of my all-time favorites! The precious story of a little house that struggles to not get pushed out of her homestead as the city grows all around her. A very special person soon comes to bring life back to the Little House as the story comes to a sweet ending.

Island Boy.......Barbara Cooney This book tells of a boy name Mattias and his lived that is well-lived. From the beginning of his life to the end, he made choices that were for the good of his own heart and those whom he loved. The artwork is amazing!

How My Library Grew by Dinah...........Martha Alexander A very sweet story of how a little girls town library is built and how she and Teddy find something special when it is all finished!

What fruit do you see in your home today?

On Wednesday, the boys and I went to the store and bought some fruit stickers and green and brown "fun" paper. What, might you be asking, was all this for? Well....

Our new "Fruit of the Spirit" tree that is growing in our kitchen.

I started the process of teaching the fruits of the Spirit with chart that had movable pieces of fruit. There was white column and a red column side by side. When we did not display a certain fruit, it had to be moved to the red column and then they would sit in our "Think About" chair for the number of minutes of their age. At the times end I would talk with them and pray with them about how we can better show that fruit of the Spirit.

But, I was seeing that we were needing more help in the practical part of how this looks in our home, our relationships and attitudes, so God gave me this idea!

When Mommy or Daddy sees a "fruit" we thank our son for displaying this in whatever the situation and then they get to put some fruit on our tree! It has been fun and for my boys a Big incentive to follow-through on the action of living out the fruits of the Spirit!

If you want to try this in your home, I would love to see your trees and hear about how it is working for you:)
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On a completely different note.... I am not really into character clothing or shoes that light up. So, one might ask "why in the world is Luke wearing these?"

Well, yesterday we went looking for some spring/summer sandals and found these on sale for $5 and we could not help ourselves! Luke fell totally in love with them and Mommy could not resist this sweet face....

This morning the sweet child woke up and ran to give me hugs, then said "Excuse me mommy, I need to go see if my Lightening shoes slept good." He then asked me if he could take them outside for a walk! Pure happiness for this sweet boy and that my dear friends is why I bought the shoes! :)

Is "good" the very "best?"

Tonight my husband and I were talking about the loss of kindness in today's world. We had been out and about and I simply asked him, "Is being friendly really that hard?" I don't mean it as a judgement against others, but rather as a realization of something I feel we as a people in general have lost.

It made me think of my time spent living in Mexico and Honduras. My heart was remembering how genuinely kind everyone was to us. At the markets, in the streets, at the church, in their homes and in their care of us. It was important to them that they make every effort to extend a hand of kindness to us at any given opportunity.

Now, let us gain some perspective~ When the precious people of these two places were asked what it meant to be rich or have plenty of what you needed. They most often responded with "having a two day supply of food ready," "having at least $300.00," "having good shoes to walk to and from work and the markets," "school for your children," and the most honest being "good with what you have." Meaning contentment, of course.

The other thing I said to my husband was that the children were happy, content and well-behaved. Why? I think it is because families stay together for work, for play, for worship.... The children know their role in the family and work each day to help the family survive and run smoothly. There are also no distractions for these children because they have very little. One child I had the privilege of spending a week with received a lollipop when we first arrived. On the day we left, he still had it in his pocket, because he only ate a small amount each day, so it would last.

Sadly, I am certain this is not a strong character quality I have developed in my own children. We certainly do go with less than some people I know and in some cases more than others, but somewhere we have missed the mark at really cultivating in our children a sense of "pure contentment." Which of course, led us to discussing what more we can do to help strengthen this character quality in our children. I do know that it is definately a choice they can make in being happy and content. It is certainly biblical, "If you have food and shelter, with these you shall be content." (1 Timothy 6:8) So, how have we ended up off the path of contentment?

Distractions. We do many things that are good for our children and beneficial is some ways. Now, why do I choose the things I choose for them? Many different reasons, but the most important should be to honor God and teach them what it means to live a life set apart for His purposes. So many times the "rules of society" get in the way of solid truth-based thinking. We, as the family, need to be training our children in righteousness. This process must start in the home! The job of parenting actually belongs to parents! (I know, what an ironic thought!!)

My husband and I are working in the trenches with our children, because we desire them to grow in their understanding of what it means to live by the way of righteousness. But there are always sneaky forks in the road we sometimes haphazardly end up pursuing. So begins a new journey in this house of aligning ourselves to the path of "pure contentment." I will be sharing thoughts and ways of the process as we journey along, so stay tuned!

Here is my challenge to you! Stop and look at an average day in your child's life and see what might be distracting them. Look for the value in what you are doing and evaluate as necessary. I'm sure that we can all use some time to balance the scales of what our children are doing that is good for them with what is actually best for them!
Let me know how your process is going, I would love to hear from you~

Inside their world

As I look at the picture of my oldest son on the right sidebar, I think of all the things that run through his mind in one day. He is full of imagination, ideas and plans. He listens to us talk and then tries so hard to "be big" when he talks in everyday conversation.


Today, he had this conversation with a friend and her 7 year old daughter:
E: "Miss Kittie, we have been recycling."
K: "Wow! We do that too at our house."

E: "Daddy finally brought home a bin for us, because I have been wanting to recycle for...years." (He says with a slight roll of his eyes)

K: "Yes, since you were three?"

E: "Since I was four..."

Kittie's daughter then says so straight-faced..."You are four."

Eli just looks at her and nods his head.



Tonight, looking back on that converstaion, I started thinking on how much time I actually spend in their world. I really want my children to know that what they are thinking and the ideas they would like to see happening are valuable. I find that since mine are so strong that I am often trying to find a balance between being their guardrail and really engaging in conversation with them.

I have just started reading The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. Yesterday I was encouraged in my role as a wife and mother, because I was reading about how my role is God-ordained. My children are to know what it means to be emotionally stable, encouraged, physically sustained and spiritually healthy because of my example.

We have to know the heart of our children in order to build a sustaining relationship with each of them. If I do not take time to invest individually, by getting down at their level and inside their world, I will be lost in navigating my way around their hearts. When children feel safe and secure they are open and can reveal quite a bit about themselves through play, words and actions.
This makes me think of Charlotte's Web where the mother asks the doctor if she thinks it's acutally possible for animals to speak. The doctor replies by saying, well it is possible that an animal spoke to me today, but I was too busy to hear or notice.

So, how are we doing at really listening to our children? I have a friend who, because of her son's challenges in speaking, treasures each word he says. In my home, both of my children talk all day and I have to be honest that I don't know that I "treasure" each and every one of those precious words. But, I certainly should be treasuring them! The hold much insight to my children. Even when they are silly, they want me to think they are silly. When they feel upset or misunderstood, they want to know that I understand those feelings.

My children's words are a small window into who they are, how they are wired and how they view the world. The myriad of questions that come from them each day are their way of learning about the world. My job is to instill in them a godly worldview. I do this by being in God's word and then passing on that truth to my children. This is my purpose as a mother. Deuteronomy says I should teach the truth of the word of God diligently to my sons and shall talk of them. When? When I sit in my house, and when I walk by the way, and when I rise up and when I lie down.

Talk. Talk. Talk. Yes, I need to be talking, BUT I also need to be engaging my chilren in conversation with me. I need to remember to let them have a voice and to most importantly listen. If I want to know them better, I can learn quite a bit just by being still and quiet. Funny...isn't that how I also learn more about my amazing God? Yes, I do recall that He asks me to "be still and know." I shall set it as my goal this week to do just that with my sweet boys. Hopefully in the next week I will know something new about them!

I challenge you to find ways and make time to do the same with your children. Let us know what you discover by being still and quiet with your children. Reverse the roles some and see what you might learn from being inside their world! Have fun~

Child Training Tuesday: Purity~Their heart & Mine

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded." James 4:8

Compromise. Contamination. Defilement. Sin. Worldly influence.

What causes our lives to become slowly eroded? What is causing our heart to be divided? Here are a few just to get us thinking.

Television. Toxic relationships. Ungodly habits. Self-interests. Materialism.

God's word tells us to cleanse our hands and purify our hearts. He tells us that we are double-minded sinners. We divide our affection for Christ, therefore we cannot live a sold out life. We are unable to be pure in heart. What exactly does purity look like?

Blameless. Uncompromised. Uncontaminated. Above reproach. Morally upright.
We live out this kind of pure devotion to Christ in our heart, our mind, our words and our actions. We know that out of the mouth flows that which is in the heart. This makes me cringe sometimes at what I see displayed in my life sometimes. I know that the heart of my Savior is grieved as He walks with me, and watches as I display foolishness. There is falsehood all around me and I need to gear up for the battle. I cling to the verse 1 John 4:4 which says, "You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world."

God's character is without stain. I am unable to reflect God's heart of purity apart from knowing and obeying Him. Not just when I am feeling like it, but in all aspects of my life. I must be active in cultivating my heart. This is the hard work. This is where my hands get dirty.

Will I keep watching the same shows? Will I keep responding the same way? Will I go to the same activites and keep the same friends? Will I keep practicing the same habits? All of these are decisions we must be intentional about making. Our lives should be reflection of Christ. Christ is always with us, so what do we have going on in our lives that would bring Him shame?

Little eyes are watching me all the time. Watching to see how I handle conflict, how I respond to the world and how I make decisions. I have one who is always asking me "why." My response must line up with the word of God if I am going to train them to discern God's will and then follow. "Well sweetheart, we need to go because so-and-so will be happy if we go." Am I seeking to please man or please God? You can be doing one or the other, just stop and check your motive.

There are so many decisions that need to be made for my litttle ones, so I must be seeking the wisest counsel I know, which is God's word. Here are some guidelines for how we make decisions in our household.

1. Is this the best that God has for us? Good is not always best.
2. What will my children be learning from this experience?
3. How will we be able to be a witness for Christ in this situation?
4. Will this be showing my children what it looks like to live for Christ alone?
5. What kind of influence will this have on my children?
6. What is our motivaton for taking part?
7. What does God's word say concerning this subject?
8. How can I best set them up for success?

The heart behind what and why we do things is most important. My best advice is this: If you have aligned your heart with God, then follow what it tells you to do. Do not be swayed by friends asking, why don't you do this? why aren't you letting them go there? You alone are responsible before God for your life and the lives of your children when they are young. Set the goal to be found faithful. Use the questions and doubts as an opportunity to be a witness for the things that matter most to God.

Purity is the hard to acquire in this world of junk and contamination. Consider turning off the television. Consider one less play group. Stay home one full day if that is possible. Then use that time instead to teach your children about what living a life of purity really means. Find ways to be intentional with your life in the area of purity. And, remember to operate in grace towards your friends who are making the hard decisions for their family. Encourage them and learn from one another. We are vulnerable when we are teachable, but we all have much we can learn from how one we do life. Are you walking a road where you are the only one making decisions that are above reproach? I applaud you for taking the hard road and encourage you to be steadfast. God will use your life in ways you may never know and you will honor God by being faithful in what He has asked of you.

Child Training Tuesday

Tonight, I am spurred on to be on my knees for my children. Although the outcome of tonight's presidential election is saddening and disappointing, I ultimately trust in God alone. He is the author of all things, past, present and future. I know He is sovereign and I praise Him for that gift.

My prayer is for my two sons to bow the knee to Jesus Christ and come to the point of personally realizing their need for a Savior. I do not know what the future world will bring, but I do know in my heart that I must be channeling as much Truth as I possibly can into my children.

A friend of mine posted about children watching television and she posted this question:

"Do we not realize the power we give away when we let our children sit mindlessly in front of the TV and be filled with who knows what? If the average kid watches 2 hours of TV a day, getting all sorts of subtle information on how they should look, think, and act, do we seriously think that as parents, we are giving MORE than 2 hours of specific instruction to our kids on what their family believes about how you should look, think, and act like? (click on makingtheconnections on the right sidebar for the complete post)

We should be giving time, quality and quantity. This is a huge burden God has placed on my heart recently for me as a mother. I am now in the process of cutting back and downsizing my life, including my home and obligations. Both of these things take up precious time that I need to be investing into my sons. I have been in serious prayer about what is best for them right now. We are doing some good things, but I long to be doing what is best for them. Regardless of society's opinion, friends questions, or family pressure. When I became a mother, I said, "OK God I will do it your way. These are your precious children that you have entrusted to me. Show me the way and I will walk in it."

When I have to leave my children with someone else, I expect nothing but the best care they can provide. So, how much more does my Heavenly Father expect with his children? My challenge to all of us as mothers is to get on our face before God and ask Him to show us where to downsize. Then ask Him to show you how to turn that time around to invest into the lives of your precious children. I am a servant of Christ and this life is not my own.

Father, help me to be diligent in investing time and truth into my sons lives. Change their hearts and mold them to be men who follow hard after you. I do not know what the world will look like for them, but I do know they will need to trust in You alone to survive. Show me how to impart the Truth to them, so they can stand firm in an ever-changing world.

A wonderful prayer resource for your children is Praying the Scriptures for your Children by Jodie Berndt. (http://http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?ISBN=0310232163)

Child Training Tuesday

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him." Proverbs 22:15

Well, one does not have to spend too much time with the average child under the age of 6 to realize the truth of this verse. More importantly I wonder what does one think about that truth? Is it normal? Is it cute, because, well she is just so adorable. Is it heart breaking? Yes, I believe that should be our answer. This behavior in our children should be of great concern to us. Why? Because they are walking the path of unrighteousness, which is the way of darkness and death. Their foolishness separates them from the path of righteousness, which is the way of life.

This is the purpose of my responsibility as a parent. To train them in righteousness. My heart breaks when my child is lost in his foolishness, but I do not despair, because I know there is hope. The window of opportunity, although somewhat limited, is open...now! So what does God's word tell me to do? "Discipline your son while there is hope and do not desire his death." Proverbs 19:18.

What is the value of discipline and instruction? She is life, both to me and to my children. "Take hold of instruction; do not let go. Guard her, for she is your life." Proverbs 4:13. It is a wearisome responsiblity to constantly be training your children, but I know it is important to God, so it must be important to me! A half-hearted attempt will not accomplish the task. I am confident that I am not the only mother that has spent half the day training a one year old not to touch the tv buttons. Was the effort worth it? Yes! Instead of storing away our household belongings, they are out and enjoyed because the children understand their boundaries.

I also have to admit, that was a much easier task, then what I now face at the age we have arrived. Why? The boundaries seem more valuable, yet harder to stay within. Each day I am seeing one of my boys battling his sin. Not just an occasional occurance, but a serious battle. Where is my role? Right alongside him in the trenches. He must come to the place of surrendering his own will to the will of His heavenly Father. It is my job to be the guardrails, the voice of truth and discipline. I must be on my knees to know how to reach the heart of this child. It does not rest upon my shoulders, because ultimately God is in control of this transformation, but I must be found faithful in my role.

Oh my dear, this is where the battle begins for me. The daily distractions and responsibilities are ever knocking at my door and I am pulled in many directions. But, the value of discipline is life. So I trust in my Heavenly Father and rely on Him to do the heart work in my children as I do the laboring here on earth. I do not labor in vain or all on my own. Just as God loves me and disciplines me, I also love my children and need to discipline them.

This is more than just being consistent, but rather it is a life choice I make in being a mother. It is the daily sacrifice I make when I decide it is most valuable. Many things pull for the attention of my children, I must be on guard, so that I am first in line. Ready with Truth, which is the most effective weapon I have against the enemy. I will not surrender, I will not back down. I know that I am in a fight for the heart of my child. The world tries hard to distract me, so I must say no to them and Yes! to God.

Oh Father, I need Your strength to stay strong in the battle. I need Your wisdom to know how to speak to the heart of my child. I need You.

Child Training Tuesday

How much time do you think our Heavenly Father spends refining our character each day? Here in this house with two strong and charging young boys, I know it is a constant process. Let's stop and consider: What is it in my life that causes me to feel that God is refining my character? Do I know what God's character looks like? Do I desire to be imitating His character in my daily life?

I am in the mission field of training two young boys into the righteousness of the Lord. So, I thought it would be fun to have Child Training Tuesday~ Each week I will post new aspects of training our child's character, which inevitably will also train our own!

A dear friend and mentor shared two great books with me that I will be using as references for some of the information shared here on Child Training Tuesday. If you are interested in ordering the books, they can be found at amazon.com/books.

What Every Child Should Know Along the Way (Gail Martin)
A Child's Book of Character Building: Book 1 (Ages 3-7) (Ron and Rebekah Coriell)

Investing time into building your child's character is a big commitment, but I feel that is one of the most significant things I can do for my sons. Some days we play and bake quite a bit and the method of formal training doesn't really happen. But I am still given many opportunities to train their character~sweet teachable moments.

Character Training:

Attentive: Listening with my eyes, my ears and my heart.
Proverbs 4:20-21 "My son, give attention to my words. Incline your ear to my sayings, do not let them depart from your sight."

Obedience: Doing what I am asked to do with a happy & submissive heart.
Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

Each morning we start school with prayer, pledge and music. Then we come to the table for character training. My boys stand in "listening stance" (like a soldier) and I ask them one at a time, "What is attentive?" They answer by stating what is written above. My (almost) three year old, does need some help, so I have invented signs to help remember the words to the definition and verse. We continue this through all the character qualities they know this far. We also do a sticker chart for remembering them correctly. Then we follow it with...

Catechism:

Who made you? God made me.
Genesis 1:27 "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

What else did God make? God made all things.
Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heavens and
the earth."

This catechism information can be found at: http://www.reformed.org/documents/index.html?mainframe=http://www.reformed.org/documents/child_cat.html

Why do I think this is so important? God says that it is important. Enjoy this with your children and remember that God will also give you wonderful opportunities to flesh these out in your own attitudes!

"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up." Deuteronomy 6:6-7