A Barren Desert

I do not know how many of us have spent very much time in an actual desert, I know that I have not. I can imagine the dry air and blowing sand, the heaviness of one's feet as they journey through the barren land looking out upon a wide span of brown sameness. We do all know of the "oasis" idea that is often a mirage, but this desert I see is just simply barren.

I came across this verse today in Psalm 66, "He turned the sea into dry land; They passed through the river on foot; There let us rejoice in Him!" (verse 6) On my heart has been the journey of one in a spiritual desert. This I am sure is something each of us knows something about in our life. There can be so many words to describe this dry journey, but to sum them all would be to say it is not ideal or enjoyable, yet we persevere and endure.

Our tired feet keep treading through the sand and we continue keeping our eyes forward, seeking the vast wide-open land for an oasis. The heat will become too much for us and our parched lips will nearly cease to be able to speak. We feel the burden of becoming overtaken, rather than overcoming.

I have sat here in this place and looked back to see where my footsteps have come from, but the wind has blown them away. There is not a clear path behind or ahead, but as I came to this verse today, I felt incredibly encouraged. I am not at all claiming this verse to mean what it spoke to my heart today in application to everyone, I am just sharing a moment of God's whispering to me here in this sandy spot.

I had been in a place where the waters were rushing and although I could see the other side of where my heart longed to be and my body needed to rest, the waters were impassable. Today when I read, ""He turned the sea into dry land; They passed through the river on foot; There let us rejoice in Him!," I whispered, "Thank you Lord for this place for me to pass."

It is not one that I would have chosen for myself, but I know that You Alone are Sovereign. To me, that is my oasis in this journey. I can simply trust and keep walking. I do not need to have all the answers or even understand at this time the reason for such a long barren road, but I do need to remain steady and trust.

I know that my heart speaks the words my lips are too parched to say themselves and that the eyes of my heart see a hope my body is much too weary to feel. So thank you Lord for the dry and barren deserts that keep me humbled, close to You and dependent upon Your Sovereignty Alone. And yes, I will "rejoice in Him."

Simple-mindedness & Sovereignty

For the past few days I have been unable to quiet the many thoughts that run around in my head looking for clear direction and anwsers. Unfortunately, because they center around the whole idea of God's "chosen" and those "not chosen," it is not likely that I will actually come to a nicely packaged black & white anwser. Although this is how my brain works that best.

I know that I will land on the side that God is Sovereign, but I can't help to ask the questions and wrestle with it in my head. Which then leads me asking, "Why are some things easier for me to leave solely in the hands of my Sovereign God, while others things I feel need an answer or help from my hand of control. (Ha! Ha!)

Like for example, the picture at right was taken just a few days ago and I do not at all spend time questioning how God is knitting together in me another precious life. It is so beyond me, I just rest in knowing He is in control. We don't like to find out if we are being blessed with a boy or girl. I do have a hearts leaning toward one, but I rest knowing God knows who we need to be joining our family and I am excited about finding out who that little person will be.

Over the past few days as I have wrestled with the thoughts rambling on in my head, I have found that I greatly love the characteristic of God that He is Sovereign. Just saying that outloud causes me to take a deep breath~ nothing is out of His watchful eye and hand of perfect provision. The most amazing part is that it is ALL for His glory, which is bigger than I can comprehend, so although I will never understand His perfect will, I can fully trust it.

And what may I ask is full-proof trustworthy today? Nothing, except the Sovereignty of God, which is not at all simple-minded. Psalm 139:17 "How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them." God has something to say about all aspects of my life, nothing is hidden from His sight. Now, I also have much to say about all aspects of my life, but do they line up with what my Sovereign God of the universe has to say?

Well, let me be still so I can hear just what He has to say. I am certain it will be beyond my own simple-minded thoughts, yet just right for me to understand and know what He is asking of me. God is pretty cool like that, I think.....Big enough to take care of it ALL, and near enough for me to feel and hear Him whisper to my heart His desires for me.

In the Little Things

Hello again....

Last night we met with our small group, which we love, and it had been awhile since we had all been together. Our pastor is doing a sermon series on Revelation (click here to check it out!) so we are spending our small group time in further discussion about the sermon.

We discussed the July 5 sermon, and we spent a great deal of our time talking about ways in which we "deny" Christ. Denial can take many different forms and we discovered that here in our plush, un-persecuted world it is very easy to slip by having to really "stand" for Christ. It doesn't help us either that as adults we have been trained and influenced by many different fears and ways of thinking passed onto us from family, experience and worldly pressures.

I am always quieted when my five year old asks someone if they love Jesus~ he hasn't been influenced to think that that is not a good idea~ he just thinks everyone should love Jesus. He is always so excited to tell a perfect stranger that he has received Jesus into his heart. Ah!~ The beauty of child-like faith. All he knows is that he loves Jesus and this is worth sharing!

Now, don't we know that same thing? Don't I have 26 years of experience with God's faithfulness in my life, His drawing me nearer and nearer to Him, His perfect provision always sustaining me as I walk in realtionship with Him? Yes! Of course I do~ but why do I sometimes act as if I do not?

Fear, doubt, denial.

So, where do I strengthen these muscles? Last night we all agreed that it was in the small things. Developing my faith and trust in God in the small decisions, strengthens me for trusting in the big things. When I can keep walking in full trust in the daily decisions and things that pull at me, then this is my default mode when the big storms come raging. As one friend last night said, "The storm is raging around me, but I am walking on steady calm ground."

God is big and He is actively at work right now. We read in His word about a burning bush, a talking donkey, a staff that turns to a snake and we think, "Wow! What it would be like to see such a miracle." Well, stop just a minute and think of a way He has divinely provided for you in this last week. Have you seen a baby in a mother's womb? Have you been able to forgive someone through Christ? Have you read anything about the modern day persecuted church around the world? God is still in the business of miracles and I believe in everyday kind of miracles.

Trust, faith, perseverence.

Let these be the words that define us and drive us towards living a life that stands more firmly for Christ. Do not deny Christ the glory due His name anymore. Live your life in such a way that it shouts, "I belong to Christ!" See what He might do through you to reach the lives of those living in the greatest denial, which is unbelief.

God Alone.

Hello! Sorry it has been awhile, I have been away at my mama's house for 2 weeks and I am just back in for a week before I travel again up north to visit more family...

Here are some random thoughts I am having right now...

1. I love the blogs that I read and I was realizing that most of them are an everyday kind of "the day in the life of" type blogs and that is why I like them. Although they are also challenging in ways which I appreciate, because I love when something makes me think, question, or try something new.

2. My blog is not really a "day in the life of" kind of blog, but I also love that! I have sometimes thought about posting everyday kind of stuff, but usually end of erasing it~ although I haven't pinned down the reason why, except that I really think my life is quite ordinary. (Which I am VERY happy with, by the way...)

This leads me to thinking about an ordinary life... does mine really fall into this category? Here is my life in a nutshell:

I am a stay at home mom with 2 children.

I am fiercely devoted to my husband.

I love to be home, doing homey kind of things. Or sometimes...shhh! Nothing at all! Oh my!

I don't watch tv and could not tell you who the biggest loser was or is.

I don't ever shop, except for household stuff, which I would just as soon order on-line and have sent to me!

I love the Lord and really try to set about doing that which matters to Him, most of the time. (I do fail, but I know that faithfulness counts with God, so honestly making the effort matters!) As you know, this sometimes happens at personal cost, but it is most definitely worth it!

I love to learn from older women.

I miss all of my family and would really love to live within 10 miles of them all!

I really do not have "tons" of friends and I have never really had "tons" of friends. I like it this way.

I am not out in the world much but when I am, I often feel a bit mis-placed. But not to my discouragement.

I hate to do dishes and usually forget one load of clothes in the washer each week.

I am still trying to perfect making home-made bread.

I sometimes let my boys eat popsicles for breakfast!

I love that God has wired me to be ministry-minded and the world makes most the most sense to me this way.

I try not to seem like it can only be my way, I just often come equipped with a vision and it is hard for me to let go of that sometimes.

At least once a week one of my boys climbs into bed in the middle of the night and I leave them there becasue I like having them close.

I often feel like I talk too much, but sometimes have nothing to say.

So, I wonder...is this an ordinary life? Yes, because it is so different than everyone elses or no because it doesn't look at all like most of the 30 something SAH moms around me. What do you think? How do you view your life? Are you content with the view you see? Why or why not?

Most often I am found discontent because God is at work and He is causing me to be aware that something vital is missing. Does that happen to you? I really want to live an ordinary life if it means leaving out all the stuff that gets in the way of living sold-out for God. Even some of the things I might aspire to do seem ordinary to me, because I am ordinary. What makes my life extraordinary? God alone.