Tuesday, March 1, 2011

On the Horizon

It's ten o'clock in the morning and the phone rings. I know who is at the other end of the phone, because he is there every morning at this time. He (my mr. wonderful) calls to check-in and see how the day is going so far. He always asks how my quiet time was, how the boys are doing and what are plans are for the rest of the day. It's nice. It keeps us connected. I like it because I don't feel alone, which can sometimes happen in this crazy state called motherhood.

On this particular day I say hi and he says how's it going? "It's like groundhogs day around here!" I can "hear" him grinning at me. He probes more and I finally respond by saying, "You know this is the hardest job ever, right?!?!?!" Yes, he calmly says. My rock. My steady leader guiding me in my moments when the whole universe seems a little off kilter. He is my gift and this calmness the greatest gift of love he offers me every day.

My heart is so heavy with this groundhogs day feeling. I have been aware of changes that this home needs to make, the promptings of my Heavenly Father who is calling us to something greater, something different than what happens each day here and now. Do you know how hard it is to change the routine, habits and regular happenings of five very different people in one house? Yes, I know you know this difficulty. I find it most challenging, because it begins in me.

Honestly, though, isn't that where it should all begin? In my heart, my thinking, my words, my actions....my life. I cannot guide the young hearts in my care if my own heart is not in a state of obedience to my Heavenly Father. So the journey begins....

This journey is but another season of life. I love to think of life in seasons, because it reminds me that there is a beginning and an end and nothing lasts forever here on earth. So I welcome the bitter cold winter that will strip me bare of all that I consider comfortable in order to reveal the true condition of my heart. Much like God allowed in the life of his faithful servant Job. God knew that under the circumstances that he allowed Job to endure, the sin of pride would rear it's ugly head and Job would be opened to the need for that to change. At the end of his suffering he came out more like the man God desired him to be and less like the man that Job thought he was doing a good job at being.

In the cold wind, my bare and exposed self will need the warmth of God to fill in the places that have become hardened to His ways. I do not intentionally seek out ways to distance myself from God, but I allow it to happen in the busyness of everyday life and responsibility.

As the sun begins to grow warmer, I begin to sprout new thoughts, attitudes and actions. Spring is on the horizon and I will again bloom. New and beautiful because of His work in me. As the winds blow gentle, the seeds begin to scatter and I am feeling refreshed and alive in the cool Spring air. I am pouring into the lives entrusted to me, changing that which He has said can be better. In the summer we thrive in the sun and flourish in our growth. We cling to the rain that falls to water our souls and then slowly, like the sun creeping up over the horizon, the rich gold, red and orange hues begin to surface.

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