Collision

There are moments in life that feel like a collision.  One of those ran a red light, came out of nowhere kind of collisions.  It hits, but instead of sitting still in the silence that follows after a real-life car collision, you keep moving at a pace that doesn't seem to fit. Nothing seems to slow down. 

The collision itself should have taken you out for a bit.  It shook you and it hurts.  When you actually have a little time to think about it, the tears begin to fall.  It's real and raw, but somehow you keep finding the strength to put one foot in front of the other.

You lie in bed as the sun begins to awaken all that fills this side of the earth and you see the orange and pink rays.  You smile, thinking about the beauty created in these mere seconds before the sun completely reveals itself.  All of its glory reflecting The One who deserves all the glory.

A heaviness weighs on you in these moments of the morning.  One that feels as though it will keep you from even getting your feet to hit the ground.  The warmth and safety of the blankets seem better, maybe even easier, than what may be waiting for you through-out the day.  You linger.  You wait.  Wait to see if maybe this day can just pass on by without you.

As you close your eyes you remind yourself that actually staying in the darkness cannot be an option.  The light, THE ONE TRUE LIGHT begins to shine into the crevasse of your heart and you begin to choose the way of life.  Your heart gently says to your mind, "HIS mercies are new every morning. Great is HIS faithfulness."  

But you cry to Him, that it feels like HIS faithfulness to you is running thin.  Although, you know that is not true.  The very breath you exhale is a gift. A "just for today" kind of gift.  

Life.  It is an on-going series of collisions.  Emotions, experiences, circumstances, people, trials, questions, joys, pain.  They all collide at different moments, but you keep moving forward.  Honestly, at times this movement is beyond your own comprehension, but deep in your soul you know you move because HE is making it possible.  In and through you.  Despite you.  

The hardest part comes in the choosing.  Not so much because you don't want to choose, but just because choosing the right way seems really hard some days.  It seems that the mundane of every day life or the overwhelming reality of the trial wins at that moment.  That collision of truth and reality.  The grace of the Father and the harshness of the world.  
  
But soon you're on your feet and engaged in life, moving forward.  And HE, the ONE is engaged in every detail of your life.  He sustains when the collision takes place.  That's how you choose and how you keep moving forward.  How you find the joy and hope in breaking through the heaviness.   

You know that this too will shape you and sanctify you and it will be worth it.  You also know that it is hard and real and requires of you a choice. A trusting kind of choice in His will over yours.  

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, 

That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.  Psalm 30:11-12